Category Archives: Review – books movies series

Introducing “The Power of Negative Emotion”

How Anger, Guilt and Self Doubt are Essential to Success and Fulfillment

By Todd Kashdan & Robert Biswas-Diener
By Todd Kashdan & Robert Biswas-Diener

I bought this book from Kinokuniya bookstore, KL in September last year (price RM52.50, before 10% off for members). No doubt I picked this book up straightaway after looking at the title, as some of my regular readers would know that I’m not in favour of all those positive psychology, positive thinking, positive attitudes etc kind of approach.

One of the authors (RBD) is actually a positive psychologist – and what? He co-authored a “power of negative emotion” book? If you look through the list of books that he has authored, you will inevitably see either “positive” or “happiness” in most of the titles! So what made him write this book?

The centre point that it brings, I guess, is becoming “whole”. It is similar to ACT’s concepts (accepting the positives, negatives, everything; and make full use of them all), except that it has shown me the benefits of not being mindful and that we don’t necessarily have to be so mindful all the time.

I also like it that it’s evidence-based, many interesting research studies are cited. Despite that, I also realised that it can be biased from time to time, picking out only the points that support their views and not stating the full picture.

Overall I think it’s a good read, I’d say “anything moderate will be good for us” is quite a common sense. Such as eating fruits is good, but eating too much is never good; having stress can help to push you, but too much can collapse you; feeling angry can make you a more assertive person, but too much can cause problems etc. So the book doesn’t provide much of new perspective to me, and maybe to anyone who would pick up this book. Yet it’s a good book, because it makes you think about things you already know, and help (at least a little bit) to become whole.

People who are able to use the whole range of their natural psychological gifts — those folks who are comfortable with being both positive and negative, and can therefore draw from the full range of human emotions — are the healthiest and, often, the most successful. (p. x)

Introducing “The Happiness Trap”

by Russ Harris
by Dr. Russ Harris

I completed this book in 2014. It was bought at Popular Bookstore at the price of RM34.90 (before 10% off for members). Just thought it’s really a good basic and entry book to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) that I’ve been mentioning everywhere in my blog, also an easy read, and the chapters are really short. It definitely gives a grasp and basic concepts of ACT, using metaphors (so it can be a bit like reading stories!).

I’ve introduced and lent it to non-psychology backgrounds readers. What I realized is that they can usually get the ideas and benefit from them, but they don’t really know how to practice these concepts in real life (how to accept? how to defuse from my thought? etc). So if you get the ideas and are liking ACT after reading this book (just like me), you shall take a look at “Getting out of your mind and into your life: The new ACT.”

Introducing “Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life: The New Acceptance & Commitment Therapy”

Got this book from Kinokuniya, Kuala Lumpur in September 2015 (RM101.84).

By Steven C. Hayes
By Steven C. Hayes

I’ve been mentioning a lot about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT, see here for all the related posts), now finally, it’s an ACT workbook.

It’s written for the general public (especially those with pain and suffering), hence considerably readable though a lot of times it may go against your common sense. It talks about human suffering (why do we suffer? If we don’t struggle with the pain, is it still pain?), why and how language leads to suffering (do the birds or dogs think that they’re suffering? Or do they just feel it?), “experiential avoidance”, acceptance and willingness (how?!!), being the observing self (I really like getting in touch with my observing self, this is something that I tried to explain to my sister when we were much younger, it was a struggle because we didn’t have a term for it back then, but she got me), values (life direction) and committed action etc.

This is a workbook so there are plenty of exercises (meditation, mindfulness, getting detached from your thoughts/feelings, letting go, metaphors etc) in it, you will almost definitely find some that you like and some that you don’t quite like.

I’d recommend it to anyone, and especially to stick to and really hands on the exercises and practices (otherwise there’s no point to just “read” a workbook). If you have some suffering/pain that you’ve really been struggling with in your life (or in your mind, in a sense), it seems easier for you to practice the workbook. Nevertheless, if you’re like me – thinking you’re fine in general – it’d still be beneficial to go through and work on it.

Introducing “House Rules”

By Jodi Picoult
By Jodi Picoult

I picked up this book from the Popular RM5 Book Fiesta last year (yes, for RM5!). It is a fiction by Jodi Picoult (this is my first tasting of her book!).

The book is about a boy named Jacob Hunt, who has got Asperger’s Syndrome – the main reason I bought this book as I really want to learn more about the Syndrome. But then the second reason, is that Jacob is also brilliant in forensic analysis – this is my (hidden) interest back in the uni. Haha!

I’d say I’ve really enjoyed reading it. It gave me perspectives from different persons (including the mother who is the main caretaker, the brother who lives together, and even Jacob (how he thinks or analyzes a case for example, sometimes I’d say it all makes sense; it’s us “normal people” who are inconsistent and weird)! and some other characters as well). There’s so much details in it. I’m sure some people would find it repetitive, but this could be how living with someone with the Syndrome is like – you have to set boundaries (house rules!), be repetitive and consistent etc! So it really gives you a sense about Asperger’s Syndrome, plus a terrible murder case in which the evidence was pointing to Jacob…

Introducing “Speed: Facing our Addiction to Fast & Faster & Overcoming our Fear of Slowing down”

Stephanie Brown Phd
By Stephanie Brown PhD.

I picked this book from the Big Bad Wolf for RM8 (under US$2), thinking that this is really something people nowadays are going to need. The content can be slightly outdated (as compared to the rapid advancement of the technology world these days), but definitely not the messages it is trying to bring.

For the past few decades, we’ve all been told to be efficient, to keep moving, to make full use of all our time, to be in control, to have more and more, to keep in touch every waking hours, not to stop, not to slow down, not to be left behind…

We keep adding activities into our schedules, and never take any out, thinking that as long as somehow adjusting them around, we will manage it all… We have the constant need to do something, to check the phone, to go on Facebook, to work harder, to get more, constant feeling of “never enough”. We think we are communicating better with the technology advancement, but we are no longer looking at each other and talking to each other when we dine together…

… …

The style of writing can be a bit boring to me, but repetition is needed to help people to face their fear of slowing down and to learn to live a more mindful and meaningful life.

So, whether or not you think you are so addicted to speed (or gadgets or something similar or related), take a look!

介绍书:<负面思考的力量>

很巧的我在前几篇文章里刚提起了关于接受负面,与负面相处的看法,激起我写那篇文章的原由是,结果几个月后我去了台湾,就在诚品拿起了这本书,当时候没发现原来那连接里写的就是我买下的这本书 (NT$270, RM34.22)。

NegativeThinkingBook

我不否认我是满怀期待看这本书的,我想是我误会了标题的意思,从西方心理学的角度,作者写的不是负面思考的好处(所带来的力量),而是可以看见事情的真面目(包括正负两面)的好处。

这样说你可以明白吗?

意思是说,你一味的消沉,难过,绝望,想什么都是负面的,那其实没有好处,但是当事情发生了,你要有能看见事情的正负两面,不能过度正面,不能过度负面,看到实际真实的全面,再从中作最坏的准备,最好的期待。

他反驳的是以往人们那种一味打击负面,鼓励正面,甚至过度正面的想法。这个我可以认同。事实上书写到后来,还是相当鼓励,甚至教导你怎么去正面的。只是请你同时不要忘了要现实(realistic),要看到真面目,要知道经历负面的事和情绪,看到负面,也可以有好处。太过正面,就不切实际了。除了找到正负面的平衡和力量,态度也不要太冲动急躁,更要时时有可以商量事情,点醒你的对象。

书里还提起了森田疗法(Morita Therapy),虽然还没有机会认真接触它,但应该跟我提倡的接受与承诺疗法(Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, ACT)有类似的中心思想。等我看了再分享!

说回这本书呢,我会建议给入门者看,只是市面上有更多更以理论为基础(theory-based)的书。也可能因为它是翻译书的关系,有些意思,想法,道理,理论,在经过语言与文化的转换后,就会有所变质?