Category Archives: Basic & General

Habit Reversal

Do you have some bad habits, like nail-biting, hair-pulling, crossing legs, digging nose, thumb sucking etc?

During the year-end school holiday last year I saw a young boy who’s in primary school. The parents said he had so many habits that he can’t control himself with, including sucking his thumb, enlarging his nostrils, clenching his jaw, etc. Most of them are to do with facial muscles. He’s quite intelligent and performing well academically. However, he was warned and punished many times in class and during assembly due to his bad habits. So the parents decided to take him for professional help. His motivation to change wasn’t high initially, but it soon became clear that working on these bad habits are beneficial to him. Towards the end of the session, I also found that he has bruxism (teeth grinding), just like his mother. And the father thought that it’s in the genes.

We met for four sessions over three weeks, focusing mainly on habit reversal and muscle relaxation. Three months later when I checked with the father again, over 90% of his habits has disappeared, it’s no longer a problem. I’d have started hypnotherapy if he didn’t respond so well.

So, any bad habits, including thumb-sucking, nail-biting, smoking or over eating, and also teeth grinding while one’s sleeping can be target with basic habit reversal techniques plus muscle tension awareness in general. What’s important is actually the motivation, “are you willing to work on your problem?”

The Freedom to Choose

“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread.

They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing:

the last of the human freedoms –

to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

- Victor E. Frankl

This is a quote from the book “Man’s search for meaning”, a book written by Viktor Frankl published in 1964, the author recorded his experiences as a prisoner in Nazi concentration camps during World War II.

Just to, perhaps remind all of us that, even in the most difficult and challenging situation, there’s still one thing that we all possess – the freedom to choose. We might not be able to leave the situation, but we can choose how we’re reacting to the situation, how we are treating ourselves and those around us. And nobody can take this away from us.

关于“正念”的迷思

正念越来越流行,却也有越来越多关于“正念”的迷思:

  1. 正念=冥想:有成千上万的方法来练习正念,而冥想静坐只是其中一个方法。
  2. 正念源自于佛教:许多宗教也进行正念练习。但正念不是一个宗教的概念,它只是一个心理技术/状态。
  3. 正念=放松:就算在充满挑战的情况里,你感觉焦虑愤怒,但你还是可以正念地接纳一切,活在当下并与环境互动,而完全不感到放松。
  4. 正念用于控制想法,去除负面想法,带来更多积极正面的想法:正念帮助我们觉察我们的想法,允许想法来来去去,并能选择哪些想法可以帮助我们朝目标前进,而哪些想法我们可以放下。
  5. 正念用于控制情绪,带来更多积极的情绪、感觉美好快乐:正念在于更完整地体验生活,也就代表体验更完整地、不管是你喜欢的积极情绪(如:快乐、爱)或消极的情绪(如:悲伤、恐惧)。

 

想更了解正念?也可以看看这个:

冥想 VS 正念

 

Suicide Survivor Support Group

Due to my attempts of organising support groups in Klang Valley (more details here), I have encountered people who are searching for support groups for all sort of things.

I just happened to come across this from Befrienders. Please go get in touch with Kenny at 03-7957 1306 or admin@befrienders.org.my if you or someone you know might be interested to attend.

suicidesurvivorbefrienders