Tag Archives: Grief & Loss

介绍书《在咖啡冷掉之前》

我在报纸上看到这本书的推荐,想说或许自己看完后,可以介绍给一些经历失落与哀伤的朋友看,外加觉得它的标题挺特别的,就到书局去找它,结果发现大部分分行都卖断货了,后来机缘巧合下,去北京工作的时候,一名助教老师送了这本书给我。其实它和我在这里看到的版本好像不太一样…

作者川口俊和

作者川口俊和

这本书写关于在一家能让人回到过去却又同时有许多非常麻烦的规则得遵守的咖啡店里发生的四个故事。看的过程确实让我掉下眼泪,所以还是有它触动心弦的地方,只是或许是原著作者的处女作品,或者因为是翻译的关系,个人认为它写得有些唠叨冗长,一开始有点想放弃不看了,另外就是故事情节的发展和转折好些地方我都“不小心”猜到了,所以少了惊喜与感动。

无论如何,作为一本关于失去、失落、遗憾、弥补的书,我想它还是有一定程度的称职的,有兴趣的人可以看一看,只是千万别抱着太大的期望。

Grieving the death of a child

It is a very sad story to tell. I guess any parents can try to relate, but will never understand how it is like to lose a child, no matter what the age of the child is when it happens. It is also an experience no parent would want to go through.

Saturday is their family, the wife and her family’s. Husband wasn’t around. So she took her daughter to join her mother, brother and sister for dinner. There were also children of her brother and sister. They squeezed in one car to get to the place for dinner. The brother who drove the car parked the car opposite of the restaurant, and they had to cross a major road with 3 lanes each direction. So the group got off the car and crossed together, with another uncle who was also there. They thought it was clear and safe. But everything happened just in split second, a motorcycle sped passed, her daughter and her were hit. Her legs were injured, she couldn’t move, and she can’t see where her daughter was, as she was dragged by the motorcycle to few metres away. The brother brought the daughter to the hospital nearby immediately. She was sent to hospital later.

The husband rushed to the hospital after receiving the news. He knew thing is bad seeing the wife in the wheelchair and daughter no where to be seen. She was shaking. Husband tried to keep himself calm thinking there are probably many decisions to be made.

Daughter was then pronounced dead.

She was 6 years old, and would never grow older than that. The only child of this couple, was going to start primary school in a few months. They were also planning for another conception this year, bringing a little bro or sis to her.

Now she couldn’t even go home. Husband has to live on his own while she stays with her family. It was too much to bear when she goes home, the girl was literally everywhere, all the memories, that she cannot bear, with chest discomfort and burning sensation in the head. She is trying to do some work. But all she wants is to hide in the bedroom and read or write. She reads about grief and loss. She writes to her. She visits the cemetery with her favourite food and talk to her. She blames herself that the family is now broken because of her. She took away his daughter, she took away his family.

He continues to work, forced himself to go back to the home with all the memories, the home that’s no longer like a home. He even forced himself to drive past the spot where the daughter was taken away. But he takes alcohol and cries every night when he’s on his own. He blames her and her family, for not being cautious enough and crossing dangerously, for not dropping the kids and the elderly at the restaurant then only look for parking space. He thinks it’s their negligence that took his daughter’s life.

It’s been more than 3 months.

For a journey of grief, 3 months is nothing. If you ask someone who lost his or her child 20 or 30 years ago, s/he would tell you that the pain is still there, the hole is still there, there is still something missing that can never be filled. But perhaps by now s/he is able to handle this empty space, and has a little smile on his/her face when s/he thinks about the lost angel.