In the past, whenever we talk about suicidal clients, it’s normally due to depression, they feel hopeless about the future and see themselves as a burden to the family and society, and see that ending their lives as the only solution to their problems.
But things changed. Today I’m not writing about suicide bombing or attacks, but suicide with a hostile intent, on a personal level.
So recently I’m seeing more and more young people who are suicidal, who have self-harm issues, or who have attempted suicide. Or, there are also some who have done any self-harm, but they are always telling others that they don’t want to live no more.
It’s not just me. When I was teaching suicide risk assessment in Beijing, many of the students (who are teachers/psychotherapists/counsellors themselves) express the same concerns. They are seeing more and more students and young people like that. They don’t quite seem to be depressed, but they are expressing suicidal thoughts, seem to be as a mean to obtain something, usually from their parents.
It’s difficult. Because you can’t really provoke these youngsters, by telling them that “stop seeking attention! You don’t really want to die! You say it to manipulate your parents” etc. Some of them are willing to “sacrifice” their lives, to make you regret and feel guilty all your lives, just because you don’t give them what they want. Sometimes I feel they don’t appreciate and love lives as much as the previous generations (Why?!).
It’s difficult. Because any expression of suicidal ideation is important and worth our attention, we can’t simply make assumptions and then ignore it. (But do you realise, it’s also because of this, we are reinforcing their behaviour… So they get what they want, they can continue to threaten or blackmail us etc.)
We can help them as much as we can, by being more emphatic and having more compassion. But I’m just wondering, what happens to our society, parenting and education systems, why are more and more entitled children growing up, who are fairly self-centered and do not care much about how others feel?
N.B. I don’t mean to discount the importance of helping anyone with suicidal ideation. Here I’m only talking about a small group of people who use suicide to blackmail or manipulate around, but there are definitely plenty of people out there who are really suicidal and in need of attention and help.
Please give yourself a second chance. Malaysia suicide hotlines:
03-7956 8144/ 03-7956 8145
Life Line Association Malaysia
Agape Counselling Center Malaysia
03-7785 5955 / 03-7781 0800