All posts by huibee

Book “The Practice of Cognitive-Behavioural Hypnotherapy”

By Donald Robertson

By Donald Robertson

I took the Diploma in Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy in mid 2012 (more about my background of hypnotherapy here). The author of this book, Don Robertson was the course facilitator and trainer. I learnt my first “proper” meditation (dehypnosis!) with him, including my favourite “leaves on the stream“. So until today I can still always relate his Scottish accent with meditation, relaxation and hypnosis, because of how much I learnt from this knowledgeable man from Scotland at that time.

I believe this is the most well-informed and extensive textbook in this subject, a non-state hypnosis approach that is based on scientific research and clinical trials. It is nothing like any other books on hypnosis that you will find out there. It starts from the basics (history), theories, and practice of it.

So yes, it is highly recommendable to anyone from a scientific backgrounds (even if you are an engineer or programmer), who are interested in hypnotherapy and CBT, to have a go. I’m more than happy to answer any question you may have, just get in touch! Though, the most suitable readers of this book (i.e. those who will gain enormous benefit) are existing CBT practitioners who would like to include hypnotherapy into their practices and make them even more effective.

给自己无条件的爱

你爱自己吗?那是无条件的爱吗?

你有想过以上这个问题吗?

你是否可以想象,一个你很爱的人或宠物,是你很喜欢也很疼爱的,这可能是你的孩子、妈妈、家人、侄女、伴侣、弟弟、一个小宝宝、小宠物、或者你很爱的一个物品,就算它坏了你也会想尽办法修理它,如不能也会把它珍藏起来的…

现在,请闭上眼,想一想你对他/她/它(以下用“她”代替)的爱…… 不管她变成怎么样、做出什么、不做什么,你依然那么爱她… 你愿意拥抱她,表达你对她的爱,满满的爱…

现在,你可不可以想像,把这个“他/她/它” 换成你自己?

拥抱这个你,对你自己说“我爱你,无条件的爱你。不管你做了什么,或什么也不做,变成怎样,我依然这么爱你,而且我会一直爱着你…”

感觉怎么样?

生活中最常看见的无私、无条件的爱,通常呈现在妈妈对孩子的关系中,有时也在伴侣、家人之间出现,偶尔甚至出现在陌生人之间。

有没有想过,你自己的痛苦悲伤是怎么来的?你的幸福快乐又是建立在什么之上?

今天老板给你的工作很好的评价有升迁的机会,你感到开心。今天男朋友给了你一个惊喜,你欣喜不已。今天同事说你的裙子很好看,你也感到开心。今天终于给自己买了一台新车,兴奋不已。今天带孩子到郊外野餐,天气很好风也很大,可以放风筝,家人玩得开心,你也很开心。

今天老板批评你做事粗心,你失落并对自己失望。今天丈夫忘了你们的结婚周年纪念日,你大发雷霆。今天同事说你的新发型好像不太适合你,你有点伤心。今天才买了两个月的新车被刮花了,好伤心。好不容易把郊游的东西准备好,一家人正要出门,天空不作美,下起倾盆大雨,孩子伤心大哭,你不知道该对谁生气。

我想再问一次,你的快乐与悲伤,是如何得来的?

上面的例子,生活常出现。它们都有个共同点,就是我们都习惯把情绪交给了外面的世界、环境、人物、东西、事情,几乎都不是我们可以直接控制的。

有没有什么,是不需要别人或外在因素,是你自己内心可以得到的满足与快乐呢?就算全世界都让你失望,你还是可以找到的快乐泉源?

如果你想得到一两件事物的话,那很好。如果不能,我有些小建议…

信仰可以是其中一项。除此,做一件自己喜欢做的事、感受大自然、培养新的爱好、做自己喜欢做的运动(而不是为了别人或上载脸书而做的)、去一趟轻松的旅游、看一本好书、看一部好电影、冥想静坐、放空发呆、给老朋友打个电话、去陪一陪老人家聊天、写日记…… 好好地和自己相处,好好地听听自己心里的声音,好好地爱自己… 不管别人是否爱你、喜欢你、批评你…

回到一开始的问题:你爱自己吗?无条件的爱吗?

还是当你做得好,你才爱你自己;当你被称赞,你才爱你自己;当别人爱你,你才爱你自己?

Psychosis to Depression?

It all started in December last year. She presented some elementary hallucination, poor sleep at night, poor concentration and drowsiness in the day. She wasn’t hearing voices, but some knocking sounds (similar to when one is knocking the doors).

So she sought psychiatric help, was put on antipsychotic and stimulant (Ritalin, normally prescribed for ADD, ADHD or narcolepsy). Her symptoms soon got much worse, seeing ghosts(?)., talking irrationally and was then brought to general hospital, where she was put on more antipsychotic drugs.

Few weeks later, her family took her to see another private psychiatrist doctor after she was discharged. The consultant diagnosed her with bipolar disorder, based on the fact that she was once an outgoing and independent person, and prescribed her with Lithium.

Throughout the few months under the care of the psychiatrists, she took and tried many medication including antipsychotic pills, she gained over 20 kgs. She gets really depressed about her weight. For when before the first episode end of last year, she bought some slimming pills online, which acted as appetite suppressant. That was when she was 20 kilograms lighter than what she is now. She wouldn’t even want to look at herself in the mirror, when she thinks about her weight, she thinks life is meaningless. She doesn’t know how she has got here and how to find the old self. She has been unable to work for 10 months now.

It all started mild. She has no family history of mental illness. The team can’t help suspecting those slimming pills that she took, which could affect and alter her brain and nervous system. Of course we wouldn’t know whether there is a cause effect relationship for definite here (and we would never know), but it is important that you know what pills and medicine you are taking, those that you buy online, and those that you are prescribed by professional doctors. I am not saying that everyone should question his/her doctors and the diagnosis and prescription, but when in doubt or think that something is not right, seek a second opinion. Also, do not believe everything that’s said on the internet, but sometimes online resources might provide us with some basic and guidance.

Non-Binary People with Gender Dysphoria

We know there are male and female in this world, we also know that there are some people who are born a boy but deep inside feels like ‘he’ should be a girl, and vice versa. DSM-V calls them Gender Dysphoria (or Gender Identity Disorder?).

Have you heard of the non-binary (NB)?

I think this is a good read, to come to understand we never want to see the world in only Black or White, having dichotomous or All-or-Nothing thinking. It applies to gender too. There are people who feel they do not belong to either.

Yes, Non-Binary People Experience Gender Dysphoria

I’m just hoping to raise some awareness here. So that mental health practitioners can be more sensitive, and perhaps one day, the public, too.

本森放松法 (The Benson Relaxation Method)

要素

  • 重复单词、声音、短语、祷告词或肌肉活动(muscular activity)。
  • 被动地、忽视各种想法(这些想法无可避免地出现在脑海中),并耐心地把注意力放回到你重复的点。

方法的总结:

  1. 选择一个单词(比如“一”、“和”)、短句或祈祷词。
  2. 安静地坐在舒服的位置。
  3. 闭上眼睛。
  4. 放松肌肉,逐步地从脚到小腿、大腿、腹部、肩膀、头部和脖子。
  5. 慢慢地、自然地放松的当儿,在你呼气的时候,在心里重复你的单词、声音、短语或祷告词。
  6. 采取被动的态度。不要担心你做的好不好。当其他想法出现时,简单地对自己说“哦…”,然后轻轻地回到你的重复点。
  7. 持续十到二十分钟。
  8. 结束时不要马上站起来。继续安静地坐上一分钟左右,允许其他想法自然地回来。然后睁开眼睛,站起来之前再坐一分钟。
  9. 每天练习一到两次。适当的时间是早餐前和晚餐前。

你也可以在运动时引起放松反应。比如你在慢跑或走路时,注意你的脚在地面上的节奏-“左,右,左,右”– 当其他想法进入你的脑海,说“哦…”,然后返回“左,右,左,右” 当然,眼睛要睁着!类似地,游泳者可以专注于他们的划动、骑自行车者专注于车轮的呼呼声,舞者专注于音乐的节拍,其他也可以专注于他们的呼吸节奏。
(改编自Don Robertson的AHPC培训手册)

11分钟放松录音

Grieving the death of a child

It is a very sad story to tell. I guess any parents can try to relate, but will never understand how it is like to lose a child, no matter what the age of the child is when it happens. It is also an experience no parent would want to go through.

Saturday is their family, the wife and her family’s. Husband wasn’t around. So she took her daughter to join her mother, brother and sister for dinner. There were also children of her brother and sister. They squeezed in one car to get to the place for dinner. The brother who drove the car parked the car opposite of the restaurant, and they had to cross a major road with 3 lanes each direction. So the group got off the car and crossed together, with another uncle who was also there. They thought it was clear and safe. But everything happened just in split second, a motorcycle sped passed, her daughter and her were hit. Her legs were injured, she couldn’t move, and she can’t see where her daughter was, as she was dragged by the motorcycle to few metres away. The brother brought the daughter to the hospital nearby immediately. She was sent to hospital later.

The husband rushed to the hospital after receiving the news. He knew thing is bad seeing the wife in the wheelchair and daughter no where to be seen. She was shaking. Husband tried to keep himself calm thinking there are probably many decisions to be made.

Daughter was then pronounced dead.

She was 6 years old, and would never grow older than that. The only child of this couple, was going to start primary school in a few months. They were also planning for another conception this year, bringing a little bro or sis to her.

Now she couldn’t even go home. Husband has to live on his own while she stays with her family. It was too much to bear when she goes home, the girl was literally everywhere, all the memories, that she cannot bear, with chest discomfort and burning sensation in the head. She is trying to do some work. But all she wants is to hide in the bedroom and read or write. She reads about grief and loss. She writes to her. She visits the cemetery with her favourite food and talk to her. She blames herself that the family is now broken because of her. She took away his daughter, she took away his family.

He continues to work, forced himself to go back to the home with all the memories, the home that’s no longer like a home. He even forced himself to drive past the spot where the daughter was taken away. But he takes alcohol and cries every night when he’s on his own. He blames her and her family, for not being cautious enough and crossing dangerously, for not dropping the kids and the elderly at the restaurant then only look for parking space. He thinks it’s their negligence that took his daughter’s life.

It’s been more than 3 months.

For a journey of grief, 3 months is nothing. If you ask someone who lost his or her child 20 or 30 years ago, s/he would tell you that the pain is still there, the hole is still there, there is still something missing that can never be filled. But perhaps by now s/he is able to handle this empty space, and has a little smile on his/her face when s/he thinks about the lost angel.