Category Archives: Anxiety Disorder

The Evolution of Human Mind

Why does my mind keep thinking negatively?

Why is my mind always looking for problems and threats?

Why is my mind always warning me when I’m trying to step out of comfort zones, and making me worry a lot?

Why is my brain always predicting the worst?

Why am I always thinking about the painful memories?

Why am I so scared of rejection and not fitting in?

Why is my mind always comparing myself to others?

Why do I never feel enough or contented with what I already have, and wanting more more more?

Watch this cute animation by Dr Russ Harris that might answer your questions, from evolutionary terms:

Did you realise that what your mind does is completely normal and natural? It’s just trying to keep you safe!

Fear & Anxiety: Differences

Most researchers in the field agree that there are differences between fear and anxiety. Here are some of the key ones.

Fear:

  • Generally seen as a response to danger here and now.
  • E.g. the dog is right in front of me, I’m scared.
  • Orientation: Here and now
  • Higher sympathetic arousal, higher level of fight or flight.

Anxiety:

  • Generally seen as a response to a predicted/anticipated threat.
  • E.g. no actual dog here, but at the corner there might be a dog.
  • Future-focused
  • The degree of sympathetic arousal is lower

Of course nobody likes feeling fear or anxiety, we all don’t want to have them. However, both fear and anxiety are not dangerous. They are completely normal and everyone experiences them.

Think about this: Are there times in your life where fear and/or anxiety have been useful/helpful in some ways? Where fear and/or anxiety saved you? Protected you? Motivated you?

Addiction to Pornography (and masturbation in Muslims)

Disclaimer: I’m writing this post with a lot of compassion (i.e. acknowledging the suffering of certain group of people and hoping to help them to reduce their suffering). In no way I intend to belittle or criticize any person or religion. If you’d like this post to be removed, please be in touch hello@huibee.com

I previously came across a 20 year young man who wrote to me asking about therapy for addiction to pornography. When we first met for an assessment, this is his “addiction” – he watched porn and masturbates for about 1 to 1.5 hours a day, almost every day, other than that he has been functioning pretty normally with his work and sports activities. He doesn’t experience any urges or problems in the day. When I was attempting to validate his experience, saying that many people of his age have much stronger urges and if it isn’t affecting his life, perhaps he shouldn’t see it as an addiction. Then he revealed his guilt as in his religion, masturbation is not allowed, at all. (I’m sorry to have been so insensitive, not knowing that masturbation is prohibited in Islam). He also understands that some of his friends did this when they were younger, not so sure about now.

He never talks to anyone about it, even to his religious mentor or his father. But he has been suffering in pain for few years, trying various ways including throwing all his gadgets away so that he has no access to porn. But normally it came back much stronger when he managed to suppress it for few days. So he fell into this vicious cycle of urge → reacting to the urge → guilt → suppress → stronger urge → reacting → more guilt → trying harder to suppress → even stronger urge……….. I believe it must have been so much pain that he finally made up his mind to seek help from a Chinese therapist. In the beginning, there was some “conflicts” regarding the client’s goal, as he’s looking for “complete termination”, whereas I see it as something natural and normal so a reduction will be more appropriate (yes I subsequently realised my mistake. Therapy is about the client, not about the therapist).

In the end we have come into a conclusion of the goals and some tasks. I’m now working with him on self-compassion, and we are using techniques from aversive therapy for the “addiction”. For the past few months it has been going well.

If you’re also a Muslim who’s suffering from similar issues (porn watching & masturbation, compulsive or not), and if you’re willing, please get in touch, I can connect you guys virtually (online, without meeting each other) to support each other to go through this together.

Habit Reversal

Do you have some bad habits, like nail-biting, hair-pulling, crossing legs, digging nose, thumb sucking etc?

During the year-end school holiday last year I saw a young boy who’s in primary school. The parents said he had so many habits that he can’t control himself with, including sucking his thumb, enlarging his nostrils, clenching his jaw, etc. Most of them are to do with facial muscles. He’s quite intelligent and performing well academically. However, he was warned and punished many times in class and during assembly due to his bad habits. So the parents decided to take him for professional help. His motivation to change wasn’t high initially, but it soon became clear that working on these bad habits are beneficial to him. Towards the end of the session, I also found that he has bruxism (teeth grinding), just like his mother. And the father thought that it’s in the genes.

We met for four sessions over three weeks, focusing mainly on habit reversal and muscle relaxation. Three months later when I checked with the father again, over 90% of his habits has disappeared, it’s no longer a problem. I’d have started hypnotherapy if he didn’t respond so well.

So, any bad habits, including thumb-sucking, nail-biting, smoking or over eating, and also teeth grinding while one’s sleeping can be target with basic habit reversal techniques plus muscle tension awareness in general. What’s important is actually the motivation, “are you willing to work on your problem?”

Support Group is running now!

Yes, since my post written in 2017, I’ve finally managed to organise the first meet-up for Support Group for Anxiety and related problems. It went really well and we were all very pleased to meet each other and made this happened together, despite our levels of anxiety! We will continue to meet monthly and welcome new members.

Meet-ups for Depression and other problems will follow soon…

If you’re interested, please fill in the google form here:

https://goo.gl/forms/PaFNW2LBfOkOOeUv1

 

A few criteria to fulfill:

  • You’ve been assessed or diagnosed with the problem you specified by a mental health professional (be it a psychiatrist or psychologist or GP or…).
  • You’re attending and participating in this willingly, not being forced by others.
  • You are able to arrange your own transport and pay for your expenses.
  • You are able to pay a small fees for administrative/materials purpose.
  • You demonstrate the ability to treat others non-judgmentally and with respect, and maintain confidentiality.
  • In between our monthly meet-ups, we stay connected in Whatsapp group, however, you will only be able to join the group after first showing up in the meet-up.

 

To read more about it, please check out my previous post:

Support Groups in KL/Klang

Stuttering and Stammering

It gets quite uncommon nowadays to meet people who stutter. I used to see it a lot more on TV, and it’s not much presented nowadays. I wonder if people no longer suffer from this problem, or they just don’t get out there and socialise much (so we hardly get to meet them and talk to them). (It also seems that most children grow out of it anyway).

Till few months ago I received an email from a lady in her 20s. She said it was depression that she needs help for. At first, based on what she wrote, I was thinking she might be quite socially anxious. And towards the end, she casually mentioned that she also had stammering issues.

I, also, quite casually replied to her that if she’s keen, I can help her with her stammering issues, on top of her depression. Undeniably I was quite “eager” inside, I was thinking I finally might meet one whom I can put what I learnt into practice.

That was few months ago. Now she almost, no longer stutters. She told me sometimes she will still do it, deliberately, just because she was quite used to it (due to some techniques that I coached her to try), now it’s all under her control, she can do it or not based on her will (just like everyone of us?). She is a lot more confident than when I first saw her, a lot more socially active too. It wasn’t quite “depression”, hence her previous treatments (mainly medication) didn’t help her much.

I don’t think people generally seek help from psychologist for stuttering and stammering issues, but yes, psychotherapy will help, hypnotherapy too. So yes, please get in touch if you happen to be one or know someone who might need this probably-life-changing therapy.

 

Extra knowledge: Stuttering VS Stammering

Stuttering refers to the repetition of words or syllabus when one is speaking, while stammering is when one is unable to make out the sound while speaking.

#口吃 #结巴 #治疗 #催眠 #心理治疗