Category Archives: Treatment Approaches

What do you do when you’re experiencing difficult emotions?

Issues & Debates, Treatment Approaches

When you’re feeling disappointed, scared, sad, low, bored, insecure, frustrated, agitated, annoyed, angry, upset, pain, stressful… What is the first thing that you do?

“What? I don’t even feel them.”

“I don’t know what I’m feeling. I feel like a robot. I feel numb. I can’t feel anything.”

Sometimes it appears to me that humans seem to have lost the ability to feel primary emotions, especially the “negative” or difficult ones.

Indeed, if a fly stand on your hand, you want to get rid of it ASAP by sway your hand. If your washing machine is broken, you want to get rid of it and buy a new one. If your room is dusty, you want to clean it up.

This is what we do in the external, physical world. We remove these “negative” things. And then problem is sorted. But, what about our inner, emotional and psychological world?

When you’re feeling sad, can you get rid of it by swaying your head maybe? When you’re frustrated and disappointed, can you simply chunk them to the bin? When you are feeling insecure and worried, can you just clean them up?

No you can’t. It doesn’t apply to the internal world this way. So we try to suppress it, fight it off, avoid it as much as possible. “Don’t cry, don’t be sad.” “Don’t be angry” This is what we were taught too. Indeed as a child, we probably thought that the adults can control their emotions, they can stop being sad or angry as they wish.

Growing up this way, believing things this way, how do we still feel? How do we still know our emotions? How do we still understand the message behind the emotions? All emotions give us some messages, whether it’s positive or negative.

When we are bored, sad, frustrated, upset etc., we commonly turn to our smartphone. Maybe reply a few whatsapp messages, maybe play my favourite game, maybe scroll a few posts on instagram or instastory. Yes, smartphone is such a life saver. At least we don’t feel the same intense painful emotions anymore.

And then…? We no longer feel. We are only anticipating joyous mood (which never lasts). We no longer understand what’s wrong, overlooking the message brought by our emotions. We feel numb, and wonder if that’s the way of living. Some people turn to alcohol and drugs, at least they won’t feel so numb.

If possible, try to spend the next two to three days noticing how you’re feeling whenever you unlock your smartphone (perhaps except when it’s in response to a notification alert). When you reach out to your phone, are you avoiding some numbness, frustration, disappointment, sadness, annoyance, fear, worry, etc? How about taking a pause and noticing how you’re feeling? Any sensation in your body? Any discomfort? Just take some time to notice it and acknowledge it. Then “decide” what you want to do next. It can be nothing…

Mental Health Check-Up

Basic & General, Treatment Approaches

We are advised to go for health check-up every year (for those above 50 years old) and every 2 to 3 years (for those younger and are rather healthy). But it seems that mental health or our psychological wellbeing are never part of it.

During the last two years, I started to see some younger people who are generally not doing too badly coming to see me. Why?

“I just want to know if I’m okay.” (usually facing some major events in life)

“I don’t want things to get worse or out of control.” (usually feeling a little “not right” but still manageable)

“I don’t see why not [doing this]. It’s good to speak to professionals to learn about ourselves anyway” (same with the above)

“If there’s a problem, I want to solve it. If it isn’t, it’s good to know, and I get to understand myself and improve my resilience or coping skills anyway” (same with the above)

When I first came back to join the local mental health field, I used to think that the Malaysians would only see a mental health professional as a last resort, if they had any other choices, they wouldn’t come to us. So usually when they finally show up and ask for help, their problems are in almost their worst form, with comorbidity and complications (Do you know that when you ignore/suppress your emotion and the information it’s trying to tell you, it can show up as some physical symptoms?). It is often hard and taking a lot of time to help them get better. But…

Things start to change! (just a little, but it’s worth writing!)

These people make me happy, as their therapist, as a practitioner in the field, as a person in the community. People start to see the importance of looking after their own emotional and psychological wellbeing, when it feels a bit not right or when they are a bit unsure, before things get worse and too complicated. People start to see the need to get a “psychological check-up”, our health is no longer just about the physical health! Not just that, it’s also about improving our self-awareness, general wellbeing, coping abilities and resilience! People are now more open to learn about psychology, and improve their general sense of psychology wellbeing.

What do you think? Will you do so?

Getting help at an affordable price

Anxiety Disorder, Depression, Treatment Approaches, ,

I was approached by some students hoping to promote mental health awareness and encourage young people to seek help when they are feeling overwhelmed, burnt out, depressed or anxious for more than a few days. Here are some of my recommendations, the general rule is “affordable” here. Feel free to comment some other services if you are aware of any.

The first point that you can approach is actually any Klinik Kesihatan near you, where you can get a quick assessment, from there, you might get a referral letter or recommendations of what’s next (they do prescribe medication sometimes), all for RM 1 as long as you bring your MyKad with you.

Of course you can also visit your GP, i.e. family doctor, whom you go for when you have cough or cold. They might be able to quickly assess you and refer you to the specialist if needed.

Most major government hospitals offer psychiatric services, some with psychological and counselling services (e.g. UMMC). You will most likely be required to have a referral letter (e.g. from your family doctor or Klinik Kesihatan) before you make an appointment.

You may also approach the Malaysia Mental Health Association (MMHA), some years back they were providing counselling sessions at RM20, I’m not sure if it’s still ongoing now, but do find out more here.

Other than that, you can also check out sols247.org. Few years ago they came to our clinic in KL to promote themselves. They offer individual psychotherapy and counselling at very affordable price, this has been verified by my support group member who used to see his therapist there. You can learn more and book an appointment here.

If what you need is to talk to somebody when you’re feeling hopeless or helpless, you may approach the Befrienders at 03-7627 2929, the call is free when you call from major telcos (Maxis, Digi, Celcom, Telekom, Time, U-Mobile) in Malaysia. You may also email them (sam@befrienders.org.my).

And finally, for women who need help, you can contact the Women’s Aid Organisation (WAO) at 03-7956 3488 (24 hour hotline) or whatsapp 018 988 8058.

Please do comment below if there is any information that’s no longer up to date or if you have other recommendation of affordable service. I’d also welcome any organisation or individual offering such services to comment below so that I can add to the list.

Of course you can also drop me a message at 017-2757813 or hello@huibee.com and I shall try to recommend based on your needs.

“A handbook for New Stoics”

Review - books movies series, Treatment Approaches
A Handbook for New Stoics
A handbook for New Stoics: How to Thrive in a World Out of Your Control, By Massimo Pigliucci & Gregory Lopez

Stoicism is a Greco-Roman philosophy that began around 300BCE. I was never interested in Philosophy when I was younger, even until recent years when I slowly grew more interests in it, I still barely spend time learning more about it. The closest I was with philosophy is actually reading the book “Sophie’s World: A novel about the history of philosophy”, which I didn’t finish as I became occupied beginning my lecturing role. But there is quite an exception to Stoicism.

I first heard about Stoicism in 2011, when I was attending Diploma in Cognitive behavioural hypnotherapy course in London, from Donald Roberson (he authored “How to Think Like a Roman Emperor : The Stoic Philosophy of Marcus Aurelius”). Since then, during my journey of self-learning, reflection, becoming a psychotherapist, developing the self, I came across Stoicism more and more.

This book by Massimo Pigliucci & Gregory Lopez provides 52 week by week lessons.

Lessons in the discipline of Desire essentially are about understanding what is and isn’t within our control. Next, the lessons in the discipline of Action helps us to learn to navigate in difficult social situations, and finally, the lessons in the discipline of Assent is about making better judgements and internalising the principles.

“What to do” for Week 3 – “Take an Outside View”

You will see that it’s still highly relevant today after 2320 years.

Why people come for Therapy

Basic & General, Treatment Approaches, , , ,

There are many different types of therapy, and there are many reasons people approach those therapists for help. Here are some reasons:

In general, for any psychotherapy:

  • Feeling moody, low, and/or depressed
  • Feeling anxious
  • Lacking confidence
  • Worrying too much
  • Not able to sleep/rest well
  • Relationship related problems
  • Feeling hopeless and lost
  • In need to talk to somebody and get some advice
  • Combination of all the above (common!)
  • Obsession and compulsion related
  • Eating related disorders
  • Anger related problems, being irritable
  • Schizophrenia and psychotic related symptoms
  • Being diagnosed as Personality Disorders (e.g. Borderline is more commonly seen)
  • Being diagnosed as developmental disorders (e.g. ADHD, autism spectrum disorder, learning disability)
  • Wanting to be assessed to see if anything is wrong (just like when you go for medical check up; this is not common, but I’ve seen a few now!)
  • In need of guidance during their self-discovery and self-improvement journey (this is rare! But glad that I’ve seen a few too!)
  • In need of guidance after being diagnosed of cancer
Taken from google image.

For hypnotherapy:

  • Wanting to remove a piece of memory
  • Wanting to forget something or someone
  • Wanting to recall something or someone
  • Being in pain
  • Wanting to be more confident
  • Looking for the root cause of some recent problems
  • Feeling lost, uncertain with the future
  • Hoping to release some emotions
  • Hoping hypnosis is the solution to their problems that couldn’t be solved otherwise
  • Wanting to achieve something great
  • Wanting to increase motivation to… (e.g. work, study, lose weight, workout)
  • Wanting to focus better
  • Wanting to change a bad habit (e.g. smoking, not exercising, nail-biting)
  • Wanting to improve general wellbeing and sense of happiness
“… And on the way out, you won’t notice my car parked in a no parking zone.”

NLP in Malaysia

Issues & Debates, Treatment Approaches, ,

I have intended to write about NLP (Neuro-Linguistic programme) since two years ago after quite a number of enquiries. But seriously, I don’t know where to start, because from day one, I believe NLP is a pseudoscience (according to Cover & Curd (1998) pseudoscience “consists of statements, beliefs, or practices that are claimed to be both scientific and factual but are incompatible with the scientific method”). And if you have followed my blog for a while, you might have noticed my very scientific and evidence-based stance.

Picture downloaded from http://www.pop.or.id/2017/08/what-is-nlp.html

The claims and assumptions in NLP mostly lack empirical support (you may read more here, there are also many other good papers studying NLP and their conclusions are quite similar). There is a lack of scientific interest in the field. But due to what they claim, it still attracts interests in people who might not care much about scientific and research evidence.

In Malaysia, I’ve met people who took course in NLP and are doing general life coaching. I also have had clients who came to me having previously coached by a NLP-based “therapist” (not sure what they call themselves). And this NLP is so popular in the business and corporate world. I suppose when people practice safely understanding their sphere of competency and professional ethical issues, they are helping people and not causing harms – as long as they aren’t claiming that they can be alternative medicine treating cancers or Parkinson’s disease, giving people false hopes.

For the general public, I’d say it depends on your stance. Sometimes I get clients who come to me who specifically want to be treated with CBT because of how much empirical support there is for CBT. On other times, people just approach me knowing I practice hypnotherapy, and want their bad memories being erased in hypnosis. It’s often good to read a bit more about the therapists and the approaches they practice, even better if you speak to them first before making any decision.

Every now and then, there is “new” psychotherapy or pseudotherapy in the markets (not in the field), that has no empirical support.

Would you just pop some pills that has no clinical trials run into your mouth every day?

Please don’t get defensive. Your first reaction might be “of course not!” But there is no right or wrong here. Like I said, it depends on your stance. The thing is, we all have probably done that, especially for those of us who come from more traditional Asian families. But, we can change that.

If given a choice, would you choose a treatment that has robust scientific and research evidence?

Picture taken from https://www.answers-in-reason.com/science/the-problem-with-pseudoscience/