Category Archives: Treatment Approaches

I want to forget someone

Hypnosis & Hypnotherapy, Issues & Debates, Treatment Approaches, , , ,

As a hypnotherapist (to be exact, cognitive behavioural hypnotherapist, or Hypno-CBT therapist), I get clients with this sort of goal every now and then. Usually they want to forget a specific someone, a relationship, totally get rid of a piece of memory (again usually to do with a specific person).

Naturally our rational mind would tell us this is actually not possible, based on science and what we already know about human mind, right? Yet when it comes to hypnosis and hypnotherapy, people generally “lost their senses”, everything that seems impossible elsewhere, seems possible when it comes to hypnosis.

This is right and wrong at the same time. Indeed we can achieve great things with hypnosis, we live more confidently, we become more assertive, we are happier, we confront our greatest fear, we live more according to value, we quit smoking and bad habits, we enjoy life better, we reach our fullest potential, we handle crisis and stress better, we can manage pain that we couldn’t bear before, we … forget someone?

I often explain to them, we can achieve a lot of things with hypnosis when we believe we can. Indeed the power of the mind is great. But this goal being the only exception. Unfortunately our mind and memories don’t work the way we want it to be. They are not like folders on your shelves that are stored individually, and can be accessed and discarded separately without affecting each other (just like what you saw in the animation Inside Out!).

In “Inside Out”, memories are stored individually as if documents on the shelves.

Our mind, body, emotions, feelings, behavour and thoughts are all interconnected, and so are our memories. Each time you take out the memory of “first day in school”, you changed some part of it (depending on the mood and condition you are in when you think about it etc), and you strengthen some related links connected to it and weaken some other.

Imagine if you want to forget this boyfriend or an affair or a lost child, and I’m able to take it away just like that, what about other memories and people and events connected to it? What is going to fill up the emptiness of these years? Perhaps I can make up something there…?

Yes, hypnosis is a great tool in terms of creating false memories. There have been plenty of research showing that. You might “recall” something during hypnosis which feel more real than what’s real, but it just isn’t real… You can watch more about it here in this clip: Why your memories can’t be trusted-

So right, we can’t remove the memories, and it’s unethical for us to create false memories to replace them (after all hypnotherapists are not god, who are we to decide your life stories and simply change it? But undeniably there are some hypnotherapy approach that do that, and we shall discuss this perhaps next time).

Yet it doesn’t mean we can’t help. I practice evidence-based hypnotherapy, I can use hypnosis to help you learn to accept this person or memory or relationship as part of your history, let it affect you less, learn to live with it and move on without having it interfering your life. I can also use hypnosis to facilitate proper closure and goodbye for the relationship and memory too. So, is it still a problem for you if it no longer has so much an impact in your life?

情绪困扰时，你首先怎么反应？

Issues & Debates, Treatment Approaches,

当您感到失望、恐惧、悲伤、沮丧、无聊、缺乏安全感、激动、烦恼、生气、痛苦、压力……时，您做的第一件事是什么？

“什么？我感觉不到到它们。”

“我不知道自己的感受是什么。我感觉像个机器人。我感到麻木。我什么都感觉不到。”

有时在我看来，人类似乎已经失去了感知主要情绪的能力，尤其是“负面”或困难的情绪。

确实，如果一只苍蝇站在您的手上，您摆动手尽快赶走它。如果洗衣机坏了，您想丢弃它，买一台新洗衣机。如果您的房间尘土飞扬，则需要清理干净。

这就是我们在外在环境中所做的事情。我们可以删除这些“负面”的东西。然后问题就解决了。但是，我们的内在，情感和心理世界呢？也能这么做吗？

当您感到悲伤时，可以摇头以摆脱悲伤吗？当您感到沮丧和失望时，是否可以将它们简单地堆放在垃圾箱中？当您觉得缺乏安全感和担心时，您可以清理它们吗？

不，你不能。这种方式不适用于内在世界。因此，我们尝试压制它，加以制止，并尽可能逃避它。 “不要哭，不要难过。” “别生气”这也是我们很多人从小所受的教导。确实，小时候，我们可能以为成年人可以控制自己的情绪，他们可以按照自己的意愿停止悲伤或生气。好神奇，不是吗？

以这种方式成长，以这种方式相信事物，我们怎么感觉感受呢？我们如何了解自己的情绪？我们怎么可能理解情绪背后的信息？所有的情绪都会给我们一些信息，无论是正面的还是负面的情绪。

当我们感到无聊、悲伤、沮丧等时，我们通常会转向我们的手机。也许回复一些whatsapp消息，也许玩我最喜欢的游戏，也许在instagram或instastory上滚动一些帖子。是的，智能手机可以似乎可以解决许多问题。至少我们不再有同样强烈的痛苦情绪了。

进而…？我们不再感受。我们只是在期待欢乐或正面的心情（而它们并不会持久）。我们不再理解出了什么问题，我们忽略了情绪所带来的信息。我们感到麻木，甚至以为麻木就是大家生活的方式。有些人转向酒精和毒品，至少他们不会感到如此麻木。

如果可以的话，请尝试在接下来的两到三天内注意一下解锁智能手机时的感觉（除了回应铃声以外）。当您拿出手机时，您是否会在逃避一些麻木，沮丧，失望，悲伤，烦恼，恐惧，担心等？好不好停下来留意自己的感觉与感受？您的身体有什么感觉吗？有什么不舒服不自在的吗？请花一些时间注意并确认它们。然后有意识的“决定”下一步要做什么。或许可以什么都不做，只是和情绪待着…

Online Group Therapy

Basic & General, Treatment Approaches

Are you interested to join some online group psychotherapy sessions, with your closed friends, family or some others?

Recently I received some enquiries on group therapy. One of them is a few friends who think they have been so stressed and wish to learn some stress management and coping with difficulties in life together. Another enquiry is someone who wishes he could manage anger and emotions better, and asked if I run “anger management” online group therapy. Off and on I get those, but it’s not frequent. But with the pandemic situation, perhaps there is such need now?

So yes I’d like to start doing this. I’d like you to register your interest in the google form: https://forms.gle/QyXYdjNdHxgJi2TQ9

I might offer the first few sessions for free since I’m also having to try out how effective this can be online, with you providing constructive feedback to me in the end so that I can improve the sessions helping others.

Some benefits of group therapy:

  • Group experience is usually great
  • Group therapy is usually more affordable! (at least I do plan to charge less)
  • You feel less lonely in the journey
  • Gaining perspective listening to others
  • Learning from diverse experience
  • It might develop into some supportive relationships (compared to 1:1 therapy which you don’t get to meet others)
  • Staying motivated and propelling yourself forward with the group
  • Brushing up your social skills!
  • Sharing can be healing

To learn more or share your ideas, please click on the google form: https://forms.gle/QyXYdjNdHxgJi2TQ9

Alternatively, you can write to me too at hello@huibee.com

停！！

Basic & General, Treatment Approaches,

Screenshot of BobNewhart video
视频的截图

这是一个非常简短的咨询治疗视频，由美国喜剧脱口秀演员 Bob Newhart 扮演的治疗师。它是一个英语视频，带中文字幕。看一看！

>>点击这里看视频<<

我在学习“思维停止”的技术的时候发现这个视频。说真的，有时候我认为这正是很多人仅仅需要的治疗（强迫症患者、认为必须控制想法的人除外）。

觉察你的想法，停止它们（不继续思考／反应），接受你所感觉到的一切，关注当下，运用你的感官感觉，关注外在环境（而不是内部环境－你的想法），做你想做的事情！

记住，只有当下是存在！其他一切只存在于你的思绪里。

还记得，你不能阻止这些想法突然出现，但是你可以决定你对他们的反应。

当然很多时候你发现你无法控制，那你也可以做一些练习，帮助你觉察这些大脑弹出来的想法、学习如何观察它们、如何不反应（很重要！）。

Why Practise Mindfulness?

Treatment Approaches, , ,

Do you feel unmotivated and find it pointless when you were told to practice mindfulness and/or meditation?

Do you think that it is a waste of time? Especially when you have such a busy schedule and so much to do, how can you still sit still and do nothing?

Do you sometimes feel like “I have to do something”, not “do nothing” to become better?

Over the years I have often received questions like this when I suggested mindfulness meditation practice. And people from all backgrounds, walks of and experience in life often respond in those ways mentioned.

So, what are the benefits of practicing mindfulness meditation?

  • Learning to become less reactive in your life and in your mind. You see that you do not need to keep thinking about those things that pop into your mind
  • Worrying less!
  • Usually sleeping better at night after starting to practice regularly
  • Feeling calmer in the day too if you are able to generalise it beyond the practice itself, i.e. becoming more mindful in life.
  • Calming and feeling peaceful after doing it. (but it’s not the purpose usually, the process is more important)
  • Helps lowering stress level
  • Feeling less anxious when you practice it more
  • Improving attention span, whether it’s for your learning or work! You don’t get distracted so easily as you used to be.
  • Helps memory and learning
  • Reducing chronic pain
  • Better sense of coping in general
  • Developing a more open and non-judgemental attitudes towards most things in life (which might cause irritation and stress previously)
  • Developing a problem-solving attitude instead of a “worrier” habit
  • Helps regulating emotions (emotion doesn’t go out of control so easily)
  • Quite often helps feeling more connected too!
  • Increasing clarity in thinking and perception
  • If you have other illness(es), it aids recovery and enhances your coping abilities
  • The “I have to keep doing” could be the cause of your problems. Sometimes, “not doing” could be the answer!

Don’t you think that for these many benefits, or even if it’s just for half of those benefits, it’s worth to spend 10 minutes or so each day or every other day to just practice mindfulness meditation? Isn’t it much better than many other things that you are trying to do?

It might feel “boring” and “really uninteresting” and “not my kind of thing”. Believe me… I had been there too, being an active person and labelling this sort of things as the “elderly stuff”, just like many others. But no, just stay open and curious, notice those thoughts and judgments, notice those sensations and feelings, notice any changes and stillness…

Now I’m going to practice it myself after writing this!

Where the voices come from

Schizophrenia & Psychotic Disorder, Treatment Approaches, , , ,

Sometimes I get this question from patients’ family, asking why the patient is hearing voices, how did it happen and what else do we know about these voices.

Here I’m referring to auditory hallucination commonly seen in people suffering from schizophrenia and psychotic disorders.

Yes they hear voices in their head, usually talking to them, quite commonly saying harsh and mean things to the sufferer. Sometimes they hear a few different voices having a conversation, and it’s not difficult to guess, the conversation is about the sufferer.

“Look! She has no friend! She looks so ugly and stupid!”

“Indeed. I wouldn’t want to befriend someone like her.”

“She should just kill herself. Nobody likes her anyway. Why is she still living?”

I mean, who with a sane mind would say such things to others? Nobody. How was these produced?

In 1993, McGuire and Murray published a research article “Increased blood flow in Broca’s area during auditory hallucinations in schizophrenia“. Let me break it down a little for you… The functions of Broca’s area has a lot to do with “speech production”. As compared to another area of the brain, the Wernicke’s area, is responsible for the comprehension of speech.

Locations of Broca's Area and Wernicke's Areas. (NIDCD, 2010) | Download Scientific Diagram
Locations of Broca’s and Wernicke’s. Picture taken from researchgate.net

So what does this mean?

When the patients are hearing voices, which do not sound like their own voices, the “speech production” area of the brain has increased blood flow, less so in the “speech comprehension” area. We can’t conclude anything from here obviously, but it becomes clearer to the researchers that those voices are produced by the brain itself, almost like their own’s thought processes (which we all do: talking to ourselves or having inner talks), but “presented” as somebody else’s voice.

So it seems likely that it’s their own thoughts. At least that’s what research has found. And I believe many clinicians would agree with me — often we see those voices are actually the patients’ core beliefs, worries, and are what they were told (by their parents, significant family members, teachers etc) when they were much younger. As a therapist, when I look at it this way, it opens up a lot more possibilities to help people who are suffering from auditory hallucination. And indeed, quite a number of techniques in mindfulness-based approach and cognitive therapy have been found useful.