After writing so many posts about others’ life and experience (see all clinical case studies here), I’ve decided to share my encounter of attempted robbery last weekend.
In Malaysia it’s not uncommon at all to hear about robbery, snatch thief, pick pocket, house/car break in etc, and it’s really worsening in the past few years. Last weekend as I was walking back home alone (it’s really just a 4-5 minutes short journey from a mall nearby), two men, riding their motorcycle attempted to grab my little sling bag (which contains only my house keys; due to the crime rates I’m always told by parents to keep all my possessions in my pockets if I have to walk; but my pockets were too full so I had to bring a small bag for the keys).
I screamed. And I noticed that they had no knife so I tried to defend, at the same time trying to walk nearer to the house nearby – I had a feeling that there were people standing in the yard and I was proven right later on. The strap of the bag was broken and he thought he got it. As he realized the bag was still in my hands and hesitated whether to grab again, the people were all rushing out from the house. We all looked at each other! Yes, I mean I looked at the people from the house, at the robbers, and the robbers looked at me and them too. Then they left. I saw a lot of motorcycles around after they left. The family from the house spoke to me for a little, before two other couples on their motorcycles came to ask me about the robbers and whether I was ok, they even walked me home upon request by me.
I came home feeling kind of excited, more excited that frightened, and told my parents what just happened. I didn’t try to look calm, I was really calm, I felt calm! I didn’t think it was a big deal, though I did realize how lucky I was that I wasn’t hurt and nothing was taken off me, also the snatch thieves seemed quite amateur.
That night I spent some time to think about it. I realized I had so much internal dialogues during the incident. I saw them coming from the front, I was still thinking how to react (if I run they might bang me etc). I also recalled that I said “fuck!” out loud, then thought why I would say that (no I don’t usually use the word). I also thought why the family who came out didn’t shout at them to scare them away (to protect themselves just in case the thieves return to revenge?!); etc.
I felt like I’m finally a Malaysian. Because it seems to happen to almost everyone, to their house, car or family. I was even able to joke about it.
I really think I’m just a positive, optimistic person. I knew this all the while. When we were young, my sis would say “Oh no! We have only 4 hours left till we have to wake up”; and I’d say “Wow! We still have 4 hours to sleep!” I think the incident has made me stronger and braver.
On the next morning as I was taking a shower. I realized I have a bruise on the back of my left upper arm. I couldn’t remember how I got it, but I didn’t link it to the thief. I even told my mum, “they didn’t touch me!” Then this morning, I found another bruise at the front of my upper arm. Then I realized it’s a trace of someone holding my arm really tightly. So it has to be the snatch thief, and I must have struggled, hence the bruises caused by the fingers and thumb of his.
Now I’ve slowly recalled (is this false memory?!?!) that he grabbed my arm so that I couldn’t run. And on the first night after this had happened, I never remembered this, as I was telling my parents, then siblings and in law, my friends, this piece of information never came to my consciousness at all.
Have I been overly positive from the very beginning (before I left home)? Have I focused too much on the positive sides of things? Just as the author of the book that I mentioned (see here), have I missed out the whole picture because I’m overly positive? Was I too busy feeling positive, thinking positive (what I had gained & learnt from the experience) that I overlooked how dangerous it could have been, before, during and after the incident? That I could have met a more violent robber? That he grabbed me, he could have hurt me even badly…? etc.
I know some people would say that I was traumatised hence I couldn’t recall every details during the snatching incident. Perhaps they are right. But when you’re able to think more realistically and accurately, seeing the full picture and knowing what to expect, perhaps you wouldn’t even be traumatised in the first place, I think.
Do correct me!
N.B. The incident took place in early October, and was written 2-3 days later.