It doesn’t have to be your fault for you to change

She said he has been supportive all financially and mentally to the family of 5 since their marriage over 10 years ago. He has no bad habits, he doesn’t use violence.

But she wants a divorce. She was terrified yesterday, when she talked to him, regarding an outing with friends. She said it was the way he looked at her and the way he talked to her was scary.

She knew he has changed for her, since she initiated the divorce. But she said there are certain things that people can’t change, it’s in them, in their personality, long-standing habits (just wondering here, if it was his personality and long-standing, the problems would have been there before they get married isn’t it? Why wasn’t she scared?). So she insisted the divorce despite his efforts and knowing how responsible a husband he is.

So we gave up talking to the wife, we spoke to the husband. He thinks he has done nothing wrong, in fact he’s done well since the marriage.

But he wants the marriage back. He was told that if he continues with how he is, the wife is going to leave him. So despite doing nothing wrong, he’s the person who needs to change. We pointed out a few things that the wife mentioned, and asked him to start paying attention on them and changing them. So if he has tried hard enough to change, to improve his way of talking and treating her, looking at her, but she still insists the divorce, then at least he has tried.

It really doesn’t have to be your fault for you to change. If you want something badly you will have to initiate the move.

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