Tag Archives: Terminal Care

介紹書<死亡如此靠近>

這本新修版的<死亡如此靠近>已經在我的書架上大約有一年了,一直沒發現它,發現它時卻一直在看別的書,而且之前看過一本蘇絢慧的書,感覺蠻失望的,所以遲遲沒開始看。當時是以會員價RM29.90買下的。

作者蘇絢慧

作者蘇絢慧

這原本是作者的第一本書,裡面有三十個她在安寧療護病房當社工時所遇到的人事物,所得到的體驗,感觸,領悟。寫得很棒很細膩,其中對於這種以”人”作為中心的行業也有了新的頓悟,因為我自己就從事這種行業,所以對於自己有時候在工作裏失去耐心,變得麻木,忘記初衷,變得機械化等,我都在這本書裏有了新和心的領悟,學習著調適,重新找回它們。

當然這書最主要寫的是關於安寧療護,人在生病面對死亡前,如何陪伴他們,幫助卻又不過度”操作”他們,讓他們有尊嚴,減少痛苦與遺憾;還有如何面對死亡,談談死亡,如何陪伴家屬失去至親,如何渡過哀傷等等。因為用的是故事,真實改編的故事,很容易就看進心裏觸動情緒。

或許現在生活中沒有面對死亡或經歷失去的哀傷,但這本書依然值得一看。或許內容總帶著些許哀傷,但也充滿了愛與感動。

Must we help/save the person despite his/her will?

I recently called a sister of a new patient to check how the patient had been doing with the medicine and whether his state had improved, and came to know that the patient hung himself that very morning.

I’m not sure if I’m too sensitive, but I’ve received this kind of news considerably frequent in my job, the sister just didn’t sound sorrow (of course some people hide their emotions very well). In fact she later said that it was a relief not just for the patient, but also for the family.

The patient has 4 siblings who are all married with children. Their parents have passed away for few years. He was the only single and he lived on his own. Though the sister went to see him thrice per day, bringing him food and taking care of him. He had suffered from depression for many years, also done ECT quite a few times. The sister always did her best to help him. She said some siblings had given up on him, but she wouldn’t.

Now that he is gone, she just felt a weight off her shoulders. Then she started to wonder if she had done wrong all these years.

If it meant suffer to live longer, do you still want him to live longer? Just because people all should live as long as they can? Or just because you think it’s your duty to help him to live longer? So you would feel better? So you wouldn’t be blamed for not helping him if something happened? You could say that you tried your best? So you go against the person’s will (partially the illness), you save him no matter what?

It is a bit similar to those family members of terminally ill patient who decide and some even beg the doctors to save the patients, but when you really check, a lot of those sufferers would rather leave in peace, stop the pain and the carers’ suffer, than going through all those operations and chemicals and injections and medication and machines, while at the end still leave, in pain and with holes all over the body.

So what’s considered as selfish act here? And what’s considered right? Who can decide it? Who is the one to make the decision?

Related read: Can we allow a severely depressed patient to make the decision?