Part I: Social, Peer & Exam Phobias
Few days later, I spoke to the mother again. They went to a Counselling centre in town. The patient opened up in the counselling session, saying that she was under great pressure and worried about various things especially her parents financial abilities.
She has always wanted to learn cooking and baking. So she’s chosen the school that she’s attending now, because this school has the course she wanted, and she can join it straightaway after Form 3, though it’s the most expensive course. The parents didn’t mind it, as they want their daughter to be happy.
The parents bought a new house earlier this year. They will be paying 3 times the house loan of what they’re currently paying. The parents are happy-go-lucky people, they know it’s going to be difficult but they were never too worried about it. Yet this eldest daughter of theirs is so concerned – whether they can afford paying for the new house and also for her expensive course. She still has younger siblings, she thinks, maybe she shouldn’t complete her Form 3 and go for such expensive course.
She also has a very traditional grandmother, who dislikes her furthering her study in cooking/baking. The grandmother always criticizes her mother in front of her, and scolding the mother for allowing her to study in this course which leads to a career that doesn’t earn money.
She listened to all these comments about her decision, is upset that her mother was scolded because of her. Somehow internally, she knows if she couldn’t pass her exams or doesn’t attend her exam she will not be able to proceed to the cooking course. And this is what she wants, or maybe not, but for her family.
We overlooked all these underlying concerns, worries and feelings. This is somehow true in psychiatric settings, especially outpatient settings. I’m not saying that medicine is not helping, obviously I’ve seen a lot of people benefit from it (especially when the condition is critical), but sometimes we easily overlook things that may not be solved by medication. Comparing to medication, in this particular case counselling and psychological treatment have shown a much better outcome.