Introducing “Your Medical Mind: How to Decide what is Right for you”

By Jerome Groopman MD & Pamela Hartzband MD

By Jerome Groopman MD & Pamela Hartzband MD

I bought this book for from the Popular RM 5 fiesta last year. In a way it’s not directly related to psychology or mental health, but in fact anything about human behaviour – it is psychology. And this book is about how patients decide their treatments.

It doesn’t tell you how to decide, or what is right for you, but it shows you clearly how your past experience and up bringing influence your attitudes and decisions. I’d say this is important to know (I’m a minimalist, and a serious doubter), so I learnt how to communicate with my doctors, so that I see how the dr’s background may affect his/her approach on the patients, so I can help the dr to help me better. In addition to that, I also learnt how to understand those figures that drs or papers like to present us with, it is an important skill to gain (so when the dr tells you taking X drug will help 30% of the patients who are similar to you, you know what it really means).

Few things that I learnt from the book:

  •  When you feel good, it’s difficult to imagine the choices and to forecast the decisions you will make when you are ill. Imagining that you have a disease, or that you have to live with X side effects, is not the same as actually experiencing them.
  • All of us initially overestimate the ultimate impact of illness and its unpleasant side effects because we tend to focus on the negative and neglect the numerous positives in our lives.
  • Many psychological studies show that we regularly underestimate our ability to adapt.
  • Much of medicine is still an uncertain science, existing in gray zone — not clearly black or white. So there isn’t a clear “best” approach.
  • Bernoulli’s Formula [(probability of outcome) x (utility of outcome) = expected utility]
  • Three approaches that researchers have devised to come up with a number for the impact of living with a side effect: (1) rating scale; (2) time trade-off; (3) standard gamble. (please see the book for details, but they are not interchangeable, so I don’t consider them as practical.)
  • A doctor’s good reputation can be built by … simply picking healthier patients, and avoiding patients with multiple medical problems (such as diabetes with kidney failure and heart disease), and thus will have better “outcomes”.
  • A person’s wishes about treatment often fluctuate over the course of an illness. Completing a living will or advance directive had no effect on whether they maintained or shifted their initial thoughts about what therapies they wanted. It is difficult to imagine what they will want and how much they can endure when their condition shifts from healthy to sick and then to even sicker.
  • Modern technology can support, at least temporarily, organs like lungs with a ventilator, the heart with a bypass apparatus, and the kidneys with dialysis. The liver cannot be supported by a machine but this vital organ can be transplanted.
  • Research among patients in the ICU found that doctors are generally correct in giving a prognosis for moderately ill patients, but they aren’t very good at predicting the course of the sickest patients. They erred on both sides — too optimistic and too pessimistic.
  • And many more…

給年邁父母的愛

其實很多時候我還蠻擔心接到他老人家的電話的,雖然我心裡很敬重他,但更多的,是心疼。

他是個七十多歲的老先生,是診所多年的抑鬱病患者,情況時好時壞,目前吃著的抗抑鬱藥物更已經是最大劑量。老先生已經退休,平時都在照顧中風臥病在床的妻子,給自己還有老婆打點生活的大小事務,有個兒子但不同住,關係也不大好,見面總是吵架,兒子去年剛離婚,也沒爭取到孩子的扶養權。老先生自己的身體不怎麼好,有骨刺,嚴重起來自己也是痛得徹夜難眠。

害怕接到老先生的電話,是因為老先生住得遠,平時要是病情惡化了,心情鬱悶不已,就會給我打個電話請我幫忙舒緩。而因為藥物已經是最大劑量,又真的不想因為增加沒什麼作用的藥物導致老先生得承擔更大的經濟負擔,所以平時只能儘量和老先生聊聊天減少他不必要的操心。而事實上,老先生尚算樂觀開朗,就算心情很煩躁鬱悶,也很少掛個苦瓜臉哀聲嘆氣,而且老先生的抑鬱很大程度是環境和一些他個人無法控制的因素造成的,所以藥物最多只能稍微輔助,起不了太大的作用(雖然對一件事的詮釋完全歸於個人)。

我知道我不該這麼想,但因為在這行久了,看多了,我常不自禁擔心老先生會不會覺得自己身體不好,又要照顧老夫人,和兒子關係又差(而且兒子還有許多要他擔心的事),抑鬱一發作,生活沒意義沒樂趣,一時想不開就走了。每次想到這,都會慶幸自己偶爾可以幫上一點小忙,更會明白老先生能撐到今天,很多能量來自於對老夫人的愛與責任。少一點愛,少一點責任心都不行。說得難聽些,換作是時下的年輕人(如我,雖然我也不太年輕了…),肯定早就撐不下去逃避問題去了。是的,我總認為上一代的人比較堅強,有韌性,有毅力,較能在逆境中生存甚至向上;這一代在太多保護與遷就裏長大,比較任性,欠缺責任心和堅持。

我心疼他,同時也生氣他的兒子,脾氣不好,行為不好,也不盡孝心,見面就是和老先生吵架。其實我也和這獨子有過一次接觸,感覺他生活很多狀況也自顧不暇,所以責怪他的心理很矛盾,因為其實兩父子顯然都很關心對方,有問題都不敢告訴對方怕對方操心,大概又是同樣的火爆脾氣,兩人說不上兩句就吵架了。

其實說穿了,很多老人家都一樣,寧可對外人聊心事講問題,也不要不敢對自己的家人自己的孩子說,因為孩子總是忙,因為孩子已經很累了,因為不要孩子擔心操心,因為和孩子說太多最後都變吵架,因為怕孩子嫌自己煩自己嘮叨(甚至怕孩子把自己送進老人院)… 每次和老先生的接觸,都會提醒我要對爸媽更好一些,更體貼他們一些(然後回家就忘得七七八八!)

P.S. 這是我第一用中文紀錄臨床個案(Clinical Case Studies),主要是因為我心裡有很多感受想用中文抒發;所以可能要請讀者體諒這文章可能寫得不太順暢(還要磨練磨練)

Introducing “The Leader Who Had No Title”

By Robin Sharma

By Robin Sharma

I got this book from the Times book fair at Atria mall end of last year, at the price of RM 43.94 (before 30% off, cheaper than Popular bookshop), after being strongly recommended by a high school friend, who told me how influential this book has been to her. If it wasn’t her, there is no way I’d pick this book up based on its cover page (“real success in business” and “leadership” aren’t really related to me :P).

This is the first time I came across this kind of book. It’s good in a way that it’s written with a story-line, rather than all theory and advice, telling you what to do to become successful in life, in what you do, in your relationships, in your job, in your business etc. It also gives you some reassurance and guidance if something not quite right turns up. Many pieces of good advice in one book, once put in actions, I can imagine people can live such a meaningful life. But I wonder how many lives have been changed by this book? How many people actually take action after reading it? For me, I’m, still, trying.

I like the “feelings” the book brought me nevertheless, so I’ve got another book of Robin Sharma, and planned to read it later this year, when this “feeling” is disappearing. Right now, let me do a revision here to see how much I remember from the book? (Please let me know if I shouldn’t be publishing this here?!)

(1) You need no title to be a leader

IMAGE: Innovation, Mastery, Authenticity, Guts, Ethics

(2) Turbulent times build great leaders

SPARK: Speak with candor, Prioritize, Adversity breeds opportunities, Respond vs React, Kudos for everyone

(3) The deeper your relationship, the your leadership

HUMAN: Helpfulness, Understanding, Mingle, Amuse, Nurture

(4) To be a great leader, first become a great person

SHINE: See clearly, Health is wealth, Inspiration matters, Neglect not your family, Elevate your lifestyle

And finally, my favourite quote –

It is better to go down in fiery failure because you chased your loftiest ambitions than to spend your best hours watching television in some subdivision.

介紹書<心靈影像的力量>

作者馬大元醫師

作者馬大元醫師

這本書出版於 2015年9月1日,我 9月5日在台北誠品敦南店買下它(台幣 280,還有79折),當時只是抱著想在 CBT 和 ACT 以外多學些不一樣的療法,尤其想接觸東方心理學,當然同時也不對這種速成法有太大的期望。

簡單來說,心靈影像療法 (Mental Image Therapy, MIT) 就是針對客戶的問體,再依據其成長背景等,用一個故事,一個問題或畫面,甚至只是簡單一個詞或物品之類的,讓他頓悟並從問題裏走出來。書裏有許多很不錯的例子,而通常這些影像在現實中也會有提醒物,讓你不斷”溫習”使效果更顯著。這裏有段<遊泳與遊泳圈>解釋精神藥物的角色,是摘自這本書的。

比起許多看過的台灣書籍,雖然這作者馬大元醫師是出版界的新手,但這書相對寫的集中不零散,也淺顯易懂很平民化。只是封面說的這般療效有些言過其實。重點跟任何療法一樣,在於實踐。而要實踐,就必須先熟讀和瞭解。

我倒覺得其實方法很像 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT, 接受與承諾療法) 裏的 metaphors,只要用對了,就能根深蒂固,帶來療效和改善。所以你應該會猜到,我會推薦這本書,因為它有我最常提起的 ACT, (不過 ACT 是個非常完善的治療系統,只能說心靈影像類似 ACT 裏的其中一節)。

介紹書<情緒生病,身體當然好不了>

這比較不是一般心理學或心理健康相關的書,但是說起情緒,卻還是和我們息息相關的。

作家黃鼎殷醫師
作家黃鼎殷醫師

我是參加作者的講座時,用 RM 30 買下這本書,憑書參加講座會,同時可以憑書參加一個價值 6000台幣的情緒療癒課程(時間安排不到,所以我沒去;後來聽在台灣的朋友花了好多錢參加人生動力課程,好像獲益不少)。

其實這兩三年買過和看過的台灣書(非故事類)都相對令我失望,不知道是我自己抱太大希望,還是選購中文書的能力不及選購英文書的能力強,還是在台灣普遍出書相對容易門檻低?

儘管如此,這本書還是給我相當簡單明瞭的中醫基礎,還有理解我們的身體和情緒之間的密切關係。對我這種對中醫理論完全沒概念的人這書絕對寫得淺顯易懂(但也因為簡化,所以要真的拿來治病還是不太可能,畢竟人體沒這麼簡單,而且每個人的身體和病情症狀也不同)。

至於裡面介紹的“自癒行動”(如力量呼吸,亂語等)我倒是有興趣試試,效果如何要等我找時間試了才知道。

總結來說對外行人蠻值得看看的,當做學門新知識。

Social Media and Weddings (VS Marriages!)

I have no idea since when the social media has had such an effect on wedding plannings (from the proposal, ROM, traditional wedding, wedding banquet, ​pre-wedding shootings, honeymoon etc). I quite enjoy looking at those pictures that people share, I normally ‘like’ them. Quite often the videos made are really touching.

Last week I attended a wedding dinner. It was a beautiful well-planned dinner, filled with laughter and tears of joy. I had a great night gathered with my high school friends, taking lots of pictures, they even had the services for us to edit and print the photos out on the spot.

On the next day, I was having a dinner date with couple of girl friends after work. During this dinner, I almost shed some tears… Because I came to know that the friend’s husband has a mistress, and this is not the worst part — he doesn’t want a divorce, but he also doesn’t want to leave the woman, and he’s using their daughter to threaten my friend! What the hell?! They were just married for about 2 years (though they had been in a courtship for almost 10 years before the marriage), and I was there on her wedding day and banquet. I can still remember the scene when she was hugging her parents and granny, how it touched me.

Family and friends, close or not, they celebrate your big day with you. They congratulate you and your spouse, hug you, give you their best wishes, tell you how beautiful you look, like your pictures, commented on your videos etc etc.

What happen after that? After all these beautiful pictures and videos posted? What happen behind that? What happen on the next day, next month, next year and decade?

It can be, but it really shouldn’t be about how much you spend on your wedding, how luxurious your wedding seem, how glamorous you and your spouse appear, how many pictures and videos are taken, how many friends and relatives are invited, how big the wedding hall is, how exclusive the decorations are, how many likes & comments you get on facebook etc, it should be how you and your special one, walk through this path we call life, hand in hand, through ups and downs. 

Image taken from web
Image taken from web