这是一个非常简短的咨询治疗视频，由美国喜剧脱口秀演员 Bob Newhart 扮演的治疗师。它是一个英语视频，带中文字幕。看一看！
>>点击这里看视频<<
我在学习“思维停止”的技术的时候发现这个视频。说真的，有时候我认为这正是很多人仅仅需要的治疗（强迫症患者、认为必须控制想法的人除外）。
觉察你的想法，停止它们（不继续思考／反应），接受你所感觉到的一切，关注当下，运用你的感官感觉，关注外在环境（而不是内部环境－你的想法），做你想做的事情！
记住，只有当下是存在！其他一切只存在于你的思绪里。
还记得，你不能阻止这些想法突然出现，但是你可以决定你对他们的反应。
当然很多时候你发现你无法控制，那你也可以做一些练习，帮助你觉察这些大脑弹出来的想法、学习如何观察它们、如何不反应（很重要！）。
Sometimes I get this question from patients’ family, asking why the patient is hearing voices, how did it happen and what else do we know about these voices.
Here I’m referring to auditory hallucination commonly seen in people suffering from schizophrenia and psychotic disorders.
Yes they hear voices in their head, usually talking to them, quite commonly saying harsh and mean things to the sufferer. Sometimes they hear a few different voices having a conversation, and it’s not difficult to guess, the conversation is about the sufferer.
“Look! She has no friend! She looks so ugly and stupid!”
“Indeed. I wouldn’t want to befriend someone like her.”
“She should just kill herself. Nobody likes her anyway. Why is she still living?”
I mean, who with a sane mind would say such things to others? Nobody. How was these produced?
In 1993, McGuire and Murray published a research article “Increased blood flow in Broca’s area during auditory hallucinations in schizophrenia“. Let me break it down a little for you… The functions of Broca’s area has a lot to do with “speech production”. As compared to another area of the brain, the Wernicke’s area, is responsible for the comprehension of speech.
So what does this mean?
When the patients are hearing voices, which do not sound like their own voices, the “speech production” area of the brain has increased blood flow, less so in the “speech comprehension” area. We can’t conclude anything from here obviously, but it becomes clearer to the researchers that those voices are produced by the brain itself, almost like their own’s thought processes (which we all do: talking to ourselves or having inner talks), but “presented” as somebody else’s voice.
So it seems likely that it’s their own thoughts. At least that’s what research has found. And I believe many clinicians would agree with me — often we see those voices are actually the patients’ core beliefs, worries, and are what they were told (by their parents, significant family members, teachers etc) when they were much younger. As a therapist, when I look at it this way, it opens up a lot more possibilities to help people who are suffering from auditory hallucination. And indeed, quite a number of techniques in mindfulness-based approach and cognitive therapy have been found useful.
There are many different types of therapy, and there are many reasons people approach those therapists for help. Here are some reasons:
In general, for any psychotherapy:
For hypnotherapy:
Early last week I experienced some flashers and increase of floaters in my left eye, which as I knew, could be signs of retina tear or worse, retina detachment. I got quite worried about the eye, but was quite reluctant to go to the hospital straightaway during this movement control order due to Covid-19. At that time I had stayed home for more than 3 weeks without leaving the front gate.
Just like many of my clients, I googled to understand more about the symptoms, possible causes, treatments, and prognoses. I also started to imagine if I had only my right eye left, how my life was going to be, how long it would take me to adapt. I thought about relearning a lot of skills that require the coordination of both eyes, like touching the finger tips of each hand, driving and playing badminton.
I noticed how my family was worried about me. Normally my parents have the tendency to delay doctor consultation and treatment, and prefer the natural ways of healing, but this time it didn’t happen. At one point, I realised it seems that I was the only one who was still more chilled about it. (I mean of course I know the severity, but at the same time I was observing the symptoms closely and I didn’t wait for more than 3 days till I saw an ophthalmologist).
This reminded me of some books and research I came across long time ago. People often underestimate their emotional resilience and ability to adapt. People without a disability rate the utility or value of life with a particular medical problem significantly lower than those who actually live with the disability. For example, blindness is thought to be much worse by those who have sight compared with those who have lived without sight for years. (refer to Gilbert et al., 1998).
I mean, I had taken some time to imagine what might happen, and even done a little practice pretending it happened. If what I imagined really came true, I have had some time to be prepared for it, and to adapt to that psychologically first. So to me who has been experiencing all this, things seem easier (mind you, it isn’t that easy as I have to sleep sitting for 1-2 months). But for people who only imagine it, it all appeared harder.
This is something I often want to explain to my clients, especially those with generalised anxiety and OCD, those who over-worried about what might happen in the future. Things often seem much harder when you imagine it, and people have the tendency to underestimate the ability of adapt and cope! So I often say, “When it really happens, you will do just fine. Of course it’s not going to be easy, but believe me, You Will Adapt!” (What more, quite often the things they worry won’t happen anyway).
Immune neglect doesn’t just lead to more worries about things that people believe they won’t adapt, but also have big impact on our important decision making, this might include decisions to seek medical testing, get divorced, or file for personal bankruptcy (refer to Hoerger, 2012). Do have a thought about these examples!
So really, believe that you will adapt if unfortunately what you worry about really happens.
(To those who care about my eye: At the time of writing, my left eye is still in the beginning of a recovery process following laser procedure to treat the three retina tears. I’m still seeing a lot of floaters (and blood) in the left vision.)
This young lady approached me around July last year, telling me that she didn’t think she has major psychological problems, but she needed help. When I first saw her, she said she’d like to resit some SPM papers, but really lack the motivation. And it’s been 2-3 years that she didn’t get this done.
I wasn’t used to taking clients/patients who are “well”. Normally my clients score really highly on any depression/anxiety or emotional distress scales. But at that time I thought I’d like a mixture of different clients, so we started to work together, on her problems like procrastination, handling negative emotions like anger and fear, handling worries and negative thoughts, setting up a routine and practice following it through, also some impulsive behaviour issues.
It didn’t take long or many sessions. Most of the therapy goals were achieved. I contacted her recently, she said she’s doing her barista work while waiting for the SPM results.
I realised this is like what I do with many clients towards the end of their treatment (when they are a lot more stable), or when they have been taking medication and are referred to me by the psychiatric consultants (so their symptoms had eased a lot when they first see me). I also think this is what a lot of people need, before they accumulate so many problems that they can’t solve, feeling worse and worse about themselves, and starting to fall into depression or other problems.
So I have decided to write this piece on “life coaching”, as it can work almost like a prevention, using hypnotherapy, mindfulness-based CBT and ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy).
Do leave a comment or get in touch (email hello@huibee.com or whatsapp 0172757813) if you’re hoping to achieve some of those:
“我希望我的孩子能够更好地学习……嗯……或者至少温习复习一点功课……”
有一天，一位焦虑的母亲问我是否可以帮助引导她的儿子更好地学习，为即将到来的考试作出更多努力。
你知道吗，如果你google一下，会有很多网站告诉你最好的学习习惯，顶尖的学习技巧，准备考试的技巧，有效的学习方法，记忆增强技巧，通过考试的必备条件，临时抱佛脚的复习技术等……
是的，有时他们需要一些帮助和提示，如何保持专注，不要分心，如何组织和管理他们的时间和笔记。但通常情况下，他们已经知道这一切，他们只是无法让自己跟着做。他们拖延，他们逃避，他们对抗……
为什么？
你有没有问过他们，“你想学习吗？”“你想从大学/学校毕业吗？”“你想要证书/文凭/学位吗？”
不想？好吧，如果你已经下定决心，那现在就退学吧，并且很确定你不会后悔对吗？还有，那退学后不上学了你想做什么？（注：不是威胁，别用威胁的语气，而是接受，接受你的孩子可以为自己的未来做决定、并承担后果）
想？那很棒！那就是你想要做的？为自己？不是为了取悦任何人，不是为了适应父母/家庭/社会。你意识到这是你为自己，为未来做的事情吗？不是为了妈妈，爸爸或邻居？没有人强迫你学习吧？
当然你不能直接问每个学生，对有些人可能有效，有些则你必须巧妙地调整你的说法。如果做得恰当，它几乎总是有效的，那么紧接着给他建立动机和更多积极的肯定，并在必要时加入学习技术。但很重要的，引导他们，帮他们澄清没有人强迫他们学习，他们可以自由决定是非常重要的。这个初始步骤至关重要！尤其是在青少年和年轻人中，当他们觉得自己被迫做某事时，他们变得“抵抗”、“叛逆”。
可能还有时候他们说他们不想学习，但他们想毕业并获得证书…….是的，当然，谁不是？我想要工资，但我不想每天早上6点起床去上班。我想环游世界，但我不想每天工作。我想长寿但不想照顾我的健康，想放任的吃喝不运动。我想早点退休但不想存钱…….向他们展示这个世界上的每个人都在做同样的事情，我们经常为未来的满足和痛快而需现在努力。但是，如果最终目的是你的目标，那么您现在就要开始努力。这是为了你自己，为了你的未来，而不是其他任何人。
当有动力的时候，也试着让孩子（学生）大声说说：
“我想学习！”
VS
“我必须读书！”
看看他们是否觉得两者有什么不同……
“如何更好地学习？如何激励孩子学习？如何避免拖延学习？如何帮助我的孩子更好地学习？“
亲爱的父母，您可以尝试一下，或者如果您需要任何帮助，请与我联系。当然还有各位学生，你也可以为自己厘清这一点！