Recently a friend has had a second child born. Now he has a 2 year old son and a week old daughter. A lovely family. But he told me he is worried, because he had so much love for his son before, now a daughter, which he wants to love even more if he could. But he is worried that he can’t split his love and give them both enough love. He wondered how he could give both of them more and equal love.

I asked him to imagine holding his son first, and “can you feel how much love you have for him?”

“Yes of course! I do this (hold him) every day.”

Now imagine letting go of his son, and carrying the newborn, “can you feel how much love you have for her?”

The answer is for sure.

Next I asked him, “now imagine you are carrying and cuddling both of them. Do you feel the love you have for each of them reduce sharply? Or do you feel way more love than before?”

“More! It’s more than double!”

Exactly. We often imagine that we can only have this much love, we quantify love, and think that there is a definite amount of love we can give and receive. So if you have 1 child, you gave him/her 100%, two children? About 50% each. Four children? Approximately 25% each ……

But no, love is indefinite. As long as you want to do so, there is indefinite love we can give and receive. So please don’t worry about “splitting your love” among your wife/husband, parents, children, siblings etc. There is always more!

BUT. Definitely there is one thing that isn’t indefinite, which is your time. You do need to manage your time well when you have more children and commitments. But with love and motivation, you will manage that fine.