Book: Think Again (2021)

Yet another book I’ve finished listening on the Libby App:

Think Again, by Adam Grant

It is not my first Adam Grant’s book, my first was his “Originals” about 5.5 years ago and you can find my post-reading thoughts here on this post. He is an occupational psychologist, but this book isn’t just about “occupational”, and I’ve seen great reviews about this book on Twitters and other platforms, and how it changes people’s views about very general and specific things in life.

However, the fact that I listened to the book (instead of reading), and also the fact that it’s taken me almost 4 or 5 months (in between I completed other books too), just somehow shows that it isn’t a particularly engaging audiobooks, the feeling was like there were a lot of interesting facts and studies and findings being laid out and connected (a very, very well-researched book!), to emphasise the importance of … Thinking Again, no matter which area you’re talking about.

I probably would like to revisit it in the form of reading at some point, especially I guess it’s important in my journey of “constant learning and becoming better”. But right now, let me share some of the popular takeaways from the book:

“If knowledge is power, knowing what we don’t know is wisdom.”

“It takes confident humility to admit we’re a work in progress. It shows that we care more about improving ourselves than proving ourselves.”

“A sign of intellect, is the ability to change your mind in the face of new facts;

A mark of wisdom, is refusing to let the fear of admitting you were wrong stop you from getting it right;

The joy of learning something new eventually exceeds the pain of unlearning something old.”

Documentary “Strong Island”

I stumbled across this documentary two weeks ago, and finished watching it two weeks apart. It consists of very “intimate” interviews conducted with family members and close friends of this Black man who was killed, and no trial or prosecution taken place…

Strong Island | Full Feature | Netflix (FREE ON YOUTUBE)
Picture taken from blacklongisland.net

The documentary is directed by Yance Ford, the sister of the William Ford, the man who was shot. William was a teacher, and if he was still alive today, he’d be a correctional officer. At the time of shooting Yance identified herself as a queer but now, as I learnt, is a transgender man.

It is not just about a family grief and racial inequality, it is also an interrogation of the criminal justice system. This is not the first, this is definitely not going to be the last either. How many lives lost like that went under the carpet?

I think that [The Grand Jury] didn’t care, because my son was a young man of colour. I will always believe that. Always, until the day I die. – Barbara D. Ford

Very much reminded me of a patient that I worked with when I was working in the forensic hospital in north London. He is more than 1.9m tall, big, black. He only came to our medium security ward briefly, from one of the highest security hospital in the country, before he was sent back again, just because he was angry and shouted. He didn’t even do anything violent yet, like many of the other patients would do and would still not be “managed”. Being tall and big can be intimidating, that’s understandable, but how about being a person of colour? Why? I’m quite sure statistics show that there are more White serial killers than any other people of colour. Does this mean we are going to treat all the White people as serial killers…?

Anyway, do watch it if you have a chance, it’s not the kind of true-crime documentary with the most plots but it is likely to make you think…

Book: Tuesdays with Morrie (1997)

I’ve heard about this book and intended to read it for quite many years, till recently, I finished listening to it on the Libby app.

Tuesdays with Morrie, audiobook on the Libby app. Written and read by author Mitch Albom.

This is its 20 year anniversary edition, I guess for a book that’s still fairly popular 20 years after it was first published, I do not have to say too much about it?

If you haven’t read it, it’s about life lessons from the author’s professor, Morrie, who was dying from ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, a progressive nervous system disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord, causing loss of muscle control – from Wikipedia). I have to say these are many lessons that we probably are aware already but shall still re-learn, and always re-learn. I hope one day I’d come back to read it again. I’ve also recommended the book to a client I have who was diagnosed with a similar Muscular dystrophy disease that’s also fatal…

If you listen to the audiobook, there’s excerpts from the interviews with Morrie, you get to hear exactly from him. I also like audiobooks that are read by the author.

如何从科学解释“吸引力法则”?

昨晚马克向一些在中国的学院学生解释“目标可视化”(goal visualisation)(当然是我给他翻译,因为他不会说中文,而学生大多不懂英语)。然后一个学生问:“当我们告诉来访者想象他们的目标成功达成时,这不是与吸引力法则有关吗?”

吸引力法则 (LOA) 相信宇宙会创造并为你提供你的思想所关注的事物,因此如果你积极思考,就会吸引积极的事物。大多科学家都认为这是一门伪科学(pseudoscience)。但是仔细想想,它似乎是“存在”的,那我们如何从科学的角度来解释呢?

这是马克的答案。

我们每秒钟都在通过眼睛、皮肤、耳朵等身体的各个部位感知数百万条信息。但是我们的大脑会过滤掉不相关的信息,好让我们只吸收相关的信息。例如,我们的眼睛每次只能看到几个字,但我们有一种可以看到整个页面的错觉,或者我们以为我们可以看到整个房间,但实际上眼睛每一次只能看到其中的一小部分,其余的由大脑根据它所拥有的信息【捏造】组成。我们实际上并没有看到这小部分以外的东西。

那,当我们设定目标并将其形象化时,是什么让它更有可能实现呢?

假设现在你已经决定在有能力的时候购买这辆川崎忍者(Kawasaki Ninja)摩托车。一旦这成为你的目标,不知何故,突然之间,你开始比平时更多地注意到路上的这辆摩托车。显然人们不会仅仅因为它现在是你的目标就开始频密在你面前驾驶它,那为什么呢?你的头脑现在认为它与你相关了,并开始允许与它相关的信息进入你的意识。换句话说,你开始更多地注意到它,因为这是你的目标,但一直以来它们一直在路上奔驰,只是被大脑过滤掉了。

所以当你设定一个目标并致力于它时,你开始专注于它,你的注意力集中在它上面,你有动力去实现它,你对相关的信息和机会变得更加开放,你的态度也变得更加积极(有别于原先的被动),所以看起来“你积极思考,你就会得到积极的结果”,但在这个过程中,涉及到许多心理和生物因素,才导致这个“积极的结果”实现。

我记得我买了一条迪卡侬(decathlon)的跑步短裤或优衣库(Uniqlo)的史努比 T 恤,在接下来的两周左右里,我开始注意到很多人穿着它。头脑现在看到这与我“相关”,而以前这会被过滤掉。

所以现在假设你的目标是找工作。你现在自然会注意到更多的求职平台、职位空缺广告、职业咨询服务、就业中心等,因此你自然会接触到更多的机会。所以,并不是想着“找工作”就会有从天而降的工作机会出现,而是你变得更加开放的态度和你的行为很重要。如果你的想法非常积极,可是每天躺着什么都不做,那所有的积极的事物是否仍然因为你的积极想法而从天而降?

同样地,假设你认为自己是一个很倒霉的人,你可能会总是“留意到”自己的不幸并为此感到痛苦。好吧,如果你只关注发生在你身上的所有坏事和倒霉的事,还预料着坏事的发生,那你真的很难变得幸运,对吧?

或许我也可以借此机会推荐一下John Krumboltz的《运气不是偶然》(Luck is No Accident),我们可以创造自己的运气,保持开放和好奇,不做太多计划,期待事情出乎意料。

这是中译版本,原文在此:How to explain “Law of Attraction” scientifically?

Book: Stuff that Sucks (2015)

This is my 300th post!!!!

I’ve been attending an online course and came across this book by Ben Sedley:

Stuff that Sucks: A teen’s guide to accepting what you can’t change and committing to what you can

It’s a small, easy to read book, based on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). I’d recommend this to any younger teenagers especially. Of course it isn’t and can’t replace therapy, but generally many parents and adolescents have found it helpful for general teens related struggles.

One criticism it receives is that there isn’t much of “practical application”, they said it tells you what stuff sucks, but didn’t tell you what you do about these stuff that sucks. I would disagree on that one, and would suggest those people to read again, because the answer/approach is in there… perhaps not obvious enough though!

创造性的解决方案

遇到任何大小问题时,尝试用一下的提问来转换角度和寻求更有创意的解决方案。

1.问题是什么?

2.你过去处理解决类似的问题做过什么?

3.还有什么是你没尝试过的?

4.如果你关心的人面对类似的问题,你会给予什么劝告/建议?

5.想象你敬重或欣赏的人。他们会做什么?

6.你认为你尊敬的人会给你什么劝告/建议?

7.你可以向谁寻求帮助?

8.列出你可以用来应对的其它资源。

9.一个具有创造性的人会作什么?

10.一个明智的人会作什么?

11.一个勇敢的人会作什么?

12.最容易做的是什么?

13.最有效的解决方案是什么?什么是理想的解决方案?

14.总体上,你认为最实际的或最好的解决方案会是什么?

15.最开始的第一步是什么?

记得:处理情绪,有时也是解决事情的方法之一,因为有些事我们无法直接解决,但我们可以学习处理自己的情绪,而不是被动地等待事情过去或陷入痛苦中…