I won’t deny that I picked up this book from the Libby app due to the names of the author. I have never watched her show, but definitely heard quite a lot about her on the news.

I finished reading (listening to) it about two months ago, during that time I was going through a pregnancy and then a miscarriage, I wouldn’t say that it’s relevant to me personally but the fact that it’s conversational by both the authors (yes, the authors read the book themselves, not by someone else), it is just nice to listen to it that way. The only problem is that Winfrey surely speaks much faster than Dr Perry, so I can’t really play it on a faster speed (as I normally do), because I will be missing what Winfrey was saying. And it’s nobody’s fault, just personal styles I guess.

Dr Perry shares how our brains deal with trauma, and what happened to people who experience trauma at a very young age (how this affects their future relationships). He does so in a very non-dry and clear way. He also shares many interesting cases that he’s worked with. Whereas Oprah Winfrey mainly shares about her personal experiences and asks questions.

For me personally, my key takeaways would be:

• Don’t ask “What’s wrong with you?” but say “What happened to you?”, be curious but not judgemental, don’t be too quick to conclude before we understand someone’s history.
• The very key thing that heals people from trauma are having connections, experiencing healthy relationships.

Overall it’s a very interesting and enjoyable book. In terms of informational vs interesting, there is such a good balance. But do not look for randomised controlled trial or systematic reviews kind of scientific evidence, it’s more of reporting of case studies and expert opinions based on his experience working in the field.

Yet another Netflix documentary I’ve watched and would really want to write about it.

I mean, someone who was taken away from her birth parents, sexually and physically abused all her life till her death at 20 years old, but to everyone who met and got to know her, sees how much potential she has, how kind she is, how smart and how much she would have achieved should she be able to get away from the monster, the so-called “daddy” who later became her husband. It’s almost as if nobody spotted anything wrong with her, until (or unless) they met the “father”. 

What kind of resilience can a person have? To what level? How decide how resilient and strong someone can be in face of this from a very young age? 

We often talk about trauma and how it affects someone – how can someone who was brought up and abused and lived that way… Be so strong, kind, smart, focused, succeeding, socialising etc? How? How do we raise the next generation, okay maybe I’m being too greedy, but a child like that? 

Anyway, it can be distressing watching documentary like this, knowing someone had gone through awful things. But it really made me wonder…

If you or someone you know are going through violence or abuse, here is some resources:
https://www.wannatalkaboutit.com/

I picked this book on the Libby app without having any clues at all what it is about, and I finished listening it in a few days (it was probably one to two months ago) and again having quite a lot question marks wondering what it’s about – yes, after I finished reading the book!

Then I realised it is a novel. I realised I hardly allow myself to read any novels in the past few years unless it’s for good reasons (I get hooked up by good novels too easily and can’t stop myself reading so at one point in my life I just stopped allowing myself to come near to any novels, I still have many of them from Big Bad Wolf that I haven’t read!)

Anyway, it’s actually a novel about faith and help. The way I was brought up and living in a non-religious way means that I can find it hard to connect with the idea of this book. The stranger in this lifeboat after a yacht wrecked tells other passengers that he is “the lord”, but also because of my very curious mindset, I enjoyed the reading and was very curious how I’d respond if I meet someone who claims to be the god, what help would I ask, would I be like some of the passengers who find it ridiculous and impossible. He said he answers to every prayer, but sometimes the answer is No. What do you think?

I guess I always have faith, I make wishes, I ask for help knowing I have to work on it, I thank god (not a specified one normally). So it’s not about being religious or not, but about having faith and belief and hope, and you will probably enjoy reading it.