Category Archives: Basic & General

Self-Hypnosis & De-Hypnosis

Basic & General, Hypnosis & Hypnotherapy, , , ,

催眠 (hypnosis) 与去催眠化 (dehypnosis)

开始前，先说说关于英文 “dehypnosis” 这个字的翻译，让我纠结了好一下的一个词。面对广大群众，其实我会偏好＂反催眠＂（听起来比较酷？！），但却也因为＂反＂，它带有误导性，感觉像是抵抗被催眠，阻止人家给你催眠，阻止自己接受催眠师的任何暗示*？所以我还是选了＂去催眠化＂。

所谓催眠，就是集中注意力，去关注一个＂单一＂的想法（或主意，画面，感觉等），比如提升自信的想法，在演讲过程中轻松自在的表现的想法，看见巧克力的时候可以抵抗把它放进嘴巴的画面，把疼痛想象成柔和的颜色逐渐消失散去的画面，看见心爱的女神可以坦然自信的画面等等。在这过程中，你全神关注。

所以每一天，我们都在给自己催眠而不自知。比如驾车回家途中，想起今早会议的情况；洗澡的时候，想起刚刚和老婆吵架的画面；并久久沉浸在这些画面里。你被自己［短暂的］催眠了。

那怎么个＂去催眠＂呢？简单来说，就是认知行为疗法(CBT)里的认知解离／认知距离化(cognitive defusion, cognitive distancing)。注意到自己沉浸在这些想法里了，注意＂这些想法就只是想法，它不是事实！＂让自己走出来，反催眠自己（看吧，＂反催眠＂是比较适用的）。这也是我最爱的接受与承诺疗法(ACT)的提倡之一－－改变自己和想法的关系，而不是改变想法本身（因为为了改变一个想法，你可能更关注它，更沉浸纠结其中，最后更痛苦！）。

大多时候，我们的目标，是多给自己催眠于自信、积极、正面的想法**，去催眠自己消极，负面的部分，这包括回忆痛苦的过去，和对未来的担心和焦虑，让自己可以真正的活在当下！

*如果你想问，那怎么做到＂抵抗被催眠，阻止人家给你催眠，阻止自己接受催眠师的任何暗示＂？那还不简单，人家说的话，你都别相信，他要你干嘛，你偏不干嘛，那他怎么能给你催眠？

**当然首先必须能够解离认知，而且不过于沉溺于正面积极的情绪（毕竟正面或负面，它都是生活的一部分，都让我们的生命更完整）

N.B. 配合８月我会到北京参加心理学家大会，用中文写了这篇＂催眠与去催眠化＂，非常非常基本的概念，往后会深入写些实用技巧。

Intervention Programmes for Autism in Malaysia

Basic & General, Developmental Disorder, Treatment Approaches,

It just happened that I was doing a brief research on the internet and among my friends who are in the field, so here is some information that might be useful to those who are looking for early intervention programmes for children diagnosed with Autism. (It is up-to-date on April 2016, within Klang Valley only).

I’d advise to take your child and visit the centre, get a feel of how it’s like on a typical day, on top of enquiring what they offer and how they charge. If possible, bring someone who knows a bit more in the field!

  • Autism Link, Petaling Jaya (www.autism.my)
    • Using Applied Behavioural Analysis (ABA), 1:1 individually tailored
    • Parental training weekly
    • Monday – Friday (3 hours class)
    • Morning RM5500/month; Afternoon 4800/month; Full day 8500/month
    • Contact: 016-6100309 / 03-7957 0795; Email: enquiry@autism.my
    • According to a ABA therapist friend who used to work there, this centre is strongly recommendable if parents/family is financially capable.
  • Hatching, Jaya One, Petaling Jaya (www.HatchingCenter.com)
    • Modified ABA, 1:4 group (1 teacher/therapist, 4 children)
    • Workshop for parents/children monthly
    • 9am-12pm or 1pm-4pm RM1500/month; 9am-4pm RM2000/month
    • Make appointment for free pre-enrolment assessment (1 hour)
    • Contact: 011-1133 8518
  • ALRITE, USJ (www.alrite4kidz.com)
    • 3 hour or 6 hour session
    • Contact: 03- 8020 6666
    • I called up and was told that they don’t discuss the fee structures over the phone (it kind of makes me suspect …), to call up for appointment.
  • Bright Stars, Ara Damansara (www.brightstars.my)
    • Using ABA, the sun-rise programme; 1:1 or 1:2 individualised
    • 9am-12pm or 12:30pm-3:30pm, RM2900/month; 9am-3pm RM5200/month
    • Contact: 012-3222405 / 03-78590089
    • See brightstars.my/about_the_program (it appears to be the only centre that publishes their pricing online!)
  • The National Autism Society of Malaysia (NASOM) (www.nasom.org.my)
    • Many centres all over Malaysia, including one in Miri, Sarawak. One-stop assessment/diagnosis centre is at Setia Alam (603-3359 3987)
    • Star programme, 1:3
    • Monday-Friday 7.30am-12pm or 1pm-5pm (RM318/month, half day only)
    • May need to be put in waiting list but they have intake almost every month throughout the year
    • Note: The centre that I called up to enquire is Taman OUG centre (03-78317928 / 03-78327928)
  • Freelance ABA therapists
    • Usually much more affordable, so it would suit those family with financial constraint.
    • Some might be able to have sessions at home.
    • Standard, facility, materials used, quality, service might be compromised (or not!!)
    • It might be good to do a review (re-assessment) every 6 months or so to check the child’s progress
    • Where to find? Check the comment section below!

Disclaimer: I am in no way involved in any of the abovementioned centres and their therapists, I have not personally known anyone who had used their services so I cannot guarantee their service quality and outcome. I’m only providing different options to those who might need it, feel free to add your comments or recommend other centres below.

Introducing “The Leader Who Had No Title”

Basic & General, Review - books movies series

By Robin Sharma

By Robin Sharma

I got this book from the Times book fair at Atria mall end of last year, at the price of RM 43.94 (before 30% off, cheaper than Popular bookshop), after being strongly recommended by a high school friend, who told me how influential this book has been to her. If it wasn’t her, there is no way I’d pick this book up based on its cover page (“real success in business” and “leadership” aren’t really related to me :P).

This is the first time I came across this kind of book. It’s good in a way that it’s written with a story-line, rather than all theory and advice, telling you what to do to become successful in life, in what you do, in your relationships, in your job, in your business etc. It also gives you some reassurance and guidance if something not quite right turns up. Many pieces of good advice in one book, once put in actions, I can imagine people can live such a meaningful life. But I wonder how many lives have been changed by this book? How many people actually take action after reading it? For me, I’m, still, trying.

I like the “feelings” the book brought me nevertheless, so I’ve got another book of Robin Sharma, and planned to read it later this year, when this “feeling” is disappearing. Right now, let me do a revision here to see how much I remember from the book? (Please let me know if I shouldn’t be publishing this here?!)

(1) You need no title to be a leader

IMAGE: Innovation, Mastery, Authenticity, Guts, Ethics

(2) Turbulent times build great leaders

SPARK: Speak with candor, Prioritize, Adversity breeds opportunities, Respond vs React, Kudos for everyone

(3) The deeper your relationship, the your leadership

HUMAN: Helpfulness, Understanding, Mingle, Amuse, Nurture

(4) To be a great leader, first become a great person

SHINE: See clearly, Health is wealth, Inspiration matters, Neglect not your family, Elevate your lifestyle

And finally, my favourite quote –

It is better to go down in fiery failure because you chased your loftiest ambitions than to spend your best hours watching television in some subdivision.

Social Media and Weddings (VS Marriages!)

Basic & General

I have no idea since when the social media has had such an effect on wedding plannings (from the proposal, ROM, traditional wedding, wedding banquet, ​pre-wedding shootings, honeymoon etc). I quite enjoy looking at those pictures that people share, I normally ‘like’ them. Quite often the videos made are really touching.

Last week I attended a wedding dinner. It was a beautiful well-planned dinner, filled with laughter and tears of joy. I had a great night gathered with my high school friends, taking lots of pictures, they even had the services for us to edit and print the photos out on the spot.

On the next day, I was having a dinner date with couple of girl friends after work. During this dinner, I almost shed some tears… Because I came to know that the friend’s husband has a mistress, and this is not the worst part — he doesn’t want a divorce, but he also doesn’t want to leave the woman, and he’s using their daughter to threaten my friend! What the hell?! They were just married for about 2 years (though they had been in a courtship for almost 10 years before the marriage), and I was there on her wedding day and banquet. I can still remember the scene when she was hugging her parents and granny, how it touched me.

Family and friends, close or not, they celebrate your big day with you. They congratulate you and your spouse, hug you, give you their best wishes, tell you how beautiful you look, like your pictures, commented on your videos etc etc.

What happen after that? After all these beautiful pictures and videos posted? What happen behind that? What happen on the next day, next month, next year and decade?

It can be, but it really shouldn’t be about how much you spend on your wedding, how luxurious your wedding seem, how glamorous you and your spouse appear, how many pictures and videos are taken, how many friends and relatives are invited, how big the wedding hall is, how exclusive the decorations are, how many likes & comments you get on facebook etc, it should be how you and your special one, walk through this path we call life, hand in hand, through ups and downs. 

Image taken from web
Image taken from web

精神药物的角色

Basic & General, Issues & Debates, Treatment Approaches, ,

摘自马大元医师的＜心灵影像的力量＞－

精神药物就像救生圈，当一个人掉进水里快要溺死了，这时如果指导他游泳的技巧，绝对是缓不济急。此时，他最需要的，是有人赶紧丢一个救生圈给他，让他尽快脱离溺水的痛苦与危险。

脱离溺水危机之后，这个人痛定思痛，开始下定决心学习游泳。一开始，因为没有信心，仍需一个游泳圈的辅助。等到学会游泳以后，游泳圈就是累赘了。。。你有看过奥运选手戴着游泳圈参加比赛吗？

精神药物的角色也是如此，在你最痛苦，无助的时候，可以提供最即时的协助。危机解除之后，治本之道就是学会情绪调适的技巧。在学习的过程中，游泳圈（药物）仍可以提供适当的辅助。等到你的情绪调适技巧熟练了，游泳圈（药物）就是多余的了！

很多人会以为吃了几个星期的药，比较舒服了，就擅自甚至不听劝告停药（在还没准备好的情况下，就放弃游泳圈了）。非常幸运的，可能这辈子也没再复发；比较幸运的，可能过了几年才回来了；但是大部分，在几个月内，面对重大生活巨变或压力时，就又再溺水，又需要游泳圈（药物）了。

另一种情况，病人开始服药后，就产生依赖性，习惯了游泳圈的便利与安全感的。有些倒是乐意，反正舒服，经济也能承担。有些呢，则会责怪医生责怪自己责怪家人，开始了这药，就停不下来了。问题是，药物是可以平衡头脑里的传输物质，但是你自己呢？你努力了吗？只单靠药物就能完全痊愈不再复发吗？

所以我特别觉得这篇＜游泳与游泳圈＞写得特别好。不能只靠药物，在觉得比较舒服后，就开始学习调适自己，调适情绪，调整生活步调，学习如何抗压，多做运动和参与有意义的活动等等。

Introducing “The Happiness Trap”

Basic & General, Review - books movies series, Treatment Approaches, , , , ,
by Russ Harris
by Dr. Russ Harris

I completed this book in 2014. It was bought at Popular Bookstore at the price of RM34.90 (before 10% off for members). Just thought it’s really a good basic and entry book to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) that I’ve been mentioning everywhere in my blog, also an easy read, and the chapters are really short. It definitely gives a grasp and basic concepts of ACT, using metaphors (so it can be a bit like reading stories!).

I’ve introduced and lent it to non-psychology backgrounds readers. What I realized is that they can usually get the ideas and benefit from them, but they don’t really know how to practice these concepts in real life (how to accept? how to defuse from my thought? etc). So if you get the ideas and are liking ACT after reading this book (just like me), you shall take a look at “Getting out of your mind and into your life: The new ACT.”