I remember starting to create accounts on Facebook and Twitter during my Uni time in the UK and found it so great to be able to connect with some long-lost friends and those who are not by my side.

Since then, about 15 years have gone, I have stopped using my Facebook account, and only used my Twitter to record some work or personal significance events. Why? I realised that browsing the social medias took up so much time, and what’s more, I didn’t enjoy it, but back then, I was doing it almost compulsively (e.g. I must be browsing a few posts before I go to bed no matter how tired I was).

In the past few years and especially recent years, with the popular of social medias across almost all age groups, there have been more and more cyber bullying, which has led to different social issues.

Have you thought of why there have been so many self-harms and suicides these days?

You might think that it’s just some words, why are people taking it so personally? But have you heard of “words are sharper than swords”?

What’s worse, is when everyone is thinking the same and adding a few more slashes on it, thinking that it doesn’t matter, thinking that this is freedom of speech, thinking that “I’m just expressing myself”. In addition, people don’t usually scroll through social medias in a calm and relaxed mood, quite often it’s when one’s waiting for something, or avoiding some emotional conflicts (“experiential avoidance“**), or is in some mild agitation or frustration, which is not noticeable immediately. Yet people often feel good after leaving such “smart” and “free” judgements. In a sense, their frustration, boredom, loneliness or anxiety gets to release by leaving comments of hatred, criticism, ridicule, defame etc. In another words, it’s rewarding to do so, the next time, they are more likely to conduct similar behaviour.

Honestly I’d like to think that humans are kind in general. But when I looked at those kinds of comments, I couldn’t see the kindness. I tried to look for reasons just so I can still think that humans are not that bad actually. Like for example, I guess many of them didn’t think about the consequences of those words, plus social medias often give us a sense of secrecy (like we are hiding behind the keyboards and do not need to be responsible), I guess if they knew their words can take lives away, they wouldn’t have done it. Or would they?

Next time before you defame, ridicule, criticise someone on social media, please consider:

• Have you done anything wrong in your life? If you do, consider that you will not be allowed to explain for your wrongdoing, and do you deserve that kind of comments?
• Do you know the whole story? Is it possible to know the full story just from one or two person’s post or from the news?
• Do you know what this person is going through? Could it be that s/he is suffering from mental problems but couldn’t get the help s/he needed?
• Will you say the same thing if the target is someone you love?
• Is your comment going to make this world a better and more peaceful place?
• Are you leaving the comments just so you are feeling better yourself? Do you know that you benefit yourself from hurting others?

**Experiential Avoidance: The attempts to avoid thoughts, feelings, memories, sensations, and other internal experiences, which usually leads to more harms and problems in the long-run. For those social media frequenters, I suggest that you try to notice how often when you’re feeling a little bored, frustrated, sad, disappointed, scared, worried, and your immediate response is turn to your phone, your social medias.

P.S. I have always wanted to write about this, but the intention became strongest after hearing what a support group member had to go through due to cyber bullying. I’m just glad she is still striving to stay alive despite what others have done to her.