To those who “found” homosexual family members:

Please read slowly, take your time to think about it, and maybe come back again and again in a few days. If I am wrong, you can leave a message to correct me…

  • What kind of person, what gender, and which person does one like, are things that happen naturally, and in fact it is not one’s “choice”. We can’t choose the gender of the person we like, whether you’re heterosexual or homosexual, it’s not within your control. Think about your experience in the past, didn’t it simply happen naturally?
  • If you want him/her to change, please step into his/her shoes, imagine you want to force yourself to change your sexual orientation, what would happen? How’d you feel? Isn’t it painful?
  • You want him/her to be healthy and happy, right?
  • Adults without homosexual tendencies will not be deceived or pushed or influenced to become homosexual. (If that happens, it is probably because s/he was originally that way, but s/he was confused or could not face or be honest with him/herself, so in this case s/he was only pushed to become honest with him/herself and people around him/her).
  • Maybe s/he was not homosexual previously, maybe s/he had imagined her/himself marrying with the opposite sex since childhood, and even had been in a relationship with the opposite sex for a few or many years, but there are many people in this world who love “that person” instead of “the gender”. And the books, stories, cartoons, and people around us that we have contacted since childhood are almost all heterosexual, so those fantasies do not mean anything. Many people cannot accept that they are homosexuals, but choose to pretend to be so-called “normal people” (and many realised that’s even more painful).
  • Maybe you think your “common/usual” road is easier for him/her. So, do you want him/her to take a hard but happy road, or an easy but unhappy road?
  • Underlying your worry and advice, even anger and blame, are all concerns and love, because you know that road might be really difficult, on behalf of him or her, I’d like to say thank you. But no one has ever guaranteed that heterosexual relationships and marriage will be easier and happier. It is better to ask her/him to strengthen him/herself and improve his/her ability to deal with stress and cope with things, so that s/he can take this path that seems harder, so s/he is equiped with the ability to handle opinions and criticisms.
  • They told me that what others think about them is not important at all. For them, the most important person is you. Your approval and acceptance are more valuable than anything else. Every day, they are looking forward to the day when they can be honest with you.
  • Ask him/her to promise you: continue to explore and understand him/herself with a curious & open mindset, continue to grow and become more mature every day.
  • Ultimately, what you want most, is to see him being healthy and happy, right?
  • I want to tell you that if s/he had a choice, s/he’d also choose an easy way generally recognized by the society… But, have s/he had a choice?
  • I hope that you will be willing to learn and meet a wide variety of people in this world with a curious and open mind, meet them, learn about them them, get along with them, accept different people, and even like them. They are just different from you some way or the other, but they are not bad. Just because they are different from most people, it does not mean that they have psychological problems. And they strive to live, to learn about themselves, and be themselves, as hard as you do.

Thank you for reading. I’m sure they appreciate it.

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