Monthly Archives: February 2020

关于自杀的迷思与误解

Basic & General, Depression, Treatment Approaches, ,
  • 问别人会不会自杀，会导致其真的去自杀？

这是很多人担心的。但是根据研究(Mathias et al 2012)，原本有自杀意念的人，并不会因为被问了而更想自杀，除非问的方法本身有问题（比如带有挑衅、取笑意味等）。

很多有自杀念头的人，被以关心的方式问了后反而觉得“终于有人可以和我谈论这件事”。

  • 会叫的狗不会咬人，说要自杀的人不会真的自杀？

研究显示，想自杀的人都曾经透露过与这个念头相关的信息，甚至2007年何金针的一项研究显示，三分之二进行自杀行为的人，一个月前曾求助于专家或助人机构。过半的自杀者在自我伤害前都曾经向他人求助。

当有人表达自杀念头的时候，切记不要将它当成玩笑。

  • 因为怕痛，自杀未遂的人不会再自杀？

这也是错的。多数自杀未遂者、自杀企图者，再次企图自杀，有1%在一年内会自杀（成功）而死，10%在10年内会自杀而死，一辈子来说，有20%的自杀未遂者会再企图自杀而死。自杀未遂后，更需要更多关怀，尤其发生后的三天，到下来的几个月。

自杀未遂者在企图这么做后，更容易有各种身体或心理问题。自杀企图者的平均寿命比其他人短30年。喝酒自伤者容易有消化系统相关的问题，药物滥用者往往与精神疾病有关等等。

Should your therapist give you advice?

Depression, Issues & Debates, Treatment Approaches, ,

“What? Isn’t that what I go to therapy for?”

No… Not really. Psychotherapists and counsellors are normally taught not to give advice (for important decision making) to their clients. We do not want our clients to become dependent on us, instead, we guide them and equip them with the skills to think more rationally, realistically and in ways that are helpful to them.

I remember there are few occasions when clients first came to see me, and they told me about how previous psychiatrists/therapist/counsellors had advised them to do certain things like leaving a boyfriend or a job or moving house etc, how they still ruminating about it today and still don’t think it was the right thing to do. Here, I’m not blaming the therapists or consultants. It’s both ways… Because quite often, clients want quick fix, they want the answer now… And the therapists feel the urgency to help and provide the quick fix.

But there are times when we do give advice, and that’s on severely depressed clients, and on suicidal prevention. We do advice the subject and the family around him/her what to do.

Also, I do provide psychoeducation to family members of most of my severe OCD clients. In a sense, sometimes there are family members who cannot rationalise how they are reinforcing the OC symptoms, then I will just advise them what and what not to do.

So right, your therapist should be there to teach you how to fish (how to solve your problems, how to handle your negative emotions, how to make decision etc), but not to just keep giving you fish. If it’s the latter that they are constantly doing (it’s quite normal to do it in the beginning of the therapy or when your condition doesn’t allow independent decision), at some point you are going to realise that you can’t live without them…

Life Coaching

Clinical Case Studies, Treatment Approaches, , , , , , , ,

This young lady approached me around July last year, telling me that she didn’t think she has major psychological problems, but she needed help. When I first saw her, she said she’d like to resit some SPM papers, but really lack the motivation. And it’s been 2-3 years that she didn’t get this done.

I wasn’t used to taking clients/patients who are “well”. Normally my clients score really highly on any depression/anxiety or emotional distress scales. But at that time I thought I’d like a mixture of different clients, so we started to work together, on her problems like procrastination, handling negative emotions like anger and fear, handling worries and negative thoughts, setting up a routine and practice following it through, also some impulsive behaviour issues.

It didn’t take long or many sessions. Most of the therapy goals were achieved. I contacted her recently, she said she’s doing her barista work while waiting for the SPM results.

I realised this is like what I do with many clients towards the end of their treatment (when they are a lot more stable), or when they have been taking medication and are referred to me by the psychiatric consultants (so their symptoms had eased a lot when they first see me). I also think this is what a lot of people need, before they accumulate so many problems that they can’t solve, feeling worse and worse about themselves, and starting to fall into depression or other problems.

So I have decided to write this piece on “life coaching”, as it can work almost like a prevention, using hypnotherapy, mindfulness-based CBT and ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy).

Do leave a comment or get in touch (email hello@huibee.com or whatsapp 0172757813) if you’re hoping to achieve some of those:

  • Becoming more confident generally
  • Becoming more confident in a specific area/situation
  • More motivation to study/work
  • Clarifying your goals in life/career/future
  • Tackling procrastination!
  • Solving specific problems in your life
  • Becoming a better problem solver generally
  • Clarifying your life values/directions
  • Starting to take actions towards your goals
  • Becoming more emotional resilient
  • Handling negative emotions and thoughts and worries
  • More focus and better control on your attention (expanding your attention span)
  • Better communication
  • Better expression of emotions and feelings
  • Being accountable to your fitness and diet plans to maintain or lose weight
  • Tackling all sorts of fear (e.g. talking to boss/authority, darkness, height, dating etc)
  • Speaking up your mind & defending your rights
  • …and more