She has a son and a daughter with a husband who loves her. She works in a department store where she enjoys working. They have a maid who does housework for her and helps looking after the kids. The husband is quite successful running his business and so they are quite free financially. Her life is probably one of those that many would be so jealous of.
Yet she is our patient here, depressed with agitation and poor sleep, depending on Stilnox for years. She can even understand the above points and was analysing her life with me, and asked me back the reason of her being depressed. “I’ve many things in my life. My boy is very cute and I love him a lot. I like my job. I have nothing much to worry about, I don’t understand why I’m always feeling sad, feeling like jumping off the building with my kids…”
On Christmas eve she gave me a call. She said she saw that her company staff were celebrating Christmas, everyone is happy, feeling Christmasy, in the festive mood. Everyone BUT her. “I feel bad. Why can’t I feel happy like them? Am I abnormal? Why am I like that?” She feels she is the contrast of the others. On one hand she feels depressed in herself, on the other hand, she feels she’s abnormal because she can’t feel happy like them, and this “abnormal” feeling makes her guilty and feel even worse.
One of her previous psychiatric doctors gave advice to her husband, telling him not to bring her out on any festive periods, as she would feel even worse in happy crowds.
As I talk to her, I can see that she’s someone who is grateful. She’s often very thankful with one simple phone call made to her to ask her how she’s been, how her day has been. So why is this lady so depressed? Even with medication, it’s only sufficient to maintain her mood, not to make her worse, but also doesn’t make her mood raised, after all these months. What’s worse, the people surrounding her have the same questions, and they scold her, criticize her; her mother, friends, colleagues, family members question her, why can’t she be happy and grateful with her life?
She wonders the same. Is it in the gene? Family background? Growing up environment? Nature or nurture or both? Which one more? How can we find the root of the problem and help this lady?