Monthly Archives: January 2023

在现实中努力求存

他告诉我他很嫉妒那些孩子,因为他们的父母有能力让他们上任何他们想上的学校,包括世界一流的大学,父母只需要“捐款”,然后孩子就在那里上学。

“我拼尽全力来到这里。他们呢?他们能在这上学是因为他们出生在一个富裕的家庭,拥有如此的特权!”

同样,另一个女孩告诉我“我的室友昨晚刚飞回家,为什么?因为她想家。那太烂了。我不会那样做,但我想要有那个选择。但是没有,我没有这样的选择。我很想念我妈妈,但是我还在这里。”

确实,我们真正想要的是选择的自由,但我们常常没有这样的选择。但是,当我们没有选择的时候,我们会非常努力,我们总是为任何机会做好准备,我们会充分利用我们拥有的一切,我们会最大限度地发挥我们的潜力,不是吗?

也许没有选择意味着我们过着更充实的生活,与那些在保护良好的环境中长大、总是有选择的特权,并且可以过着非常悠闲的生活(如果他们愿意 )? 他们往往有点脆弱,他们有时害怕接受挑战,也不能很好地应对挫折。 毕竟他们大部分时间都在自己的舒适区,要什么有什么,不需要面对挫折。 显然,这并不适用于每一个出生在那种家庭的孩子。 但是试着注意你周围的人,你有观察到任何规律?

然而这就是现实。 这意味着你在充分地生活、尝试、学习、奋斗,最大限度地发挥你的能力和每一个细胞。 这难道不是一种更值得过更有价值的生活,远比那种要什么有什么的生活来的更值得? 当你竭尽全力以实现目标时,感觉不是很棒吗? 这不也让你成为一个更强大、更伟大的人吗?

谁知道如果你出生在那个家庭并拥有所有这些选择,你会被“宠坏”而不会像现在这样做出任何好的选择和充实的生活呢?

也许你认为我只是想让你感觉好些,这些都很阿Q的自我安慰。 但这在世界许多地方都可以观察到,当某个少数群体在某些资源或机会(选择)上被剥夺时,他们会更加努力地奋斗,他们变得越来越强大。 这可以是某个种族、性别认同、社会经济阶层、能力不同的人等。任何一群人都是如此,我给他例子,像在马来西亚生活的少数民族…

最后他告诉我,“是的!也许这是真的。我注意到去年获得奖学金的大多数人都是 LGBTQ+,即使他们没有公开宣布,但我猜他们内心深处, 像你说的那样坚强,不像顺性别者那样生活,这很难,你知道的。但是是的,他们可以取得更大的成就”

Invisible Women (2019)

Happy 2023! First post in 2013! This is my 10th year blogging here. 🙂

I wouldn’t call myself a feminist, but I guess I’m not a female who would willingly fit myself into the more “traditional” roles that women have been expected by the society and their older generations. I have always an advocate for the minorities, like for ethnic minorities or the LGBTQ etc in the school, but I seriously refuse to think that women are in the minority, though it often feels so!

This is a book I noticed recommended by the school librarian and as a member of staff in this DEIJ/B (Diverse, Equity, Inclusion, Justice/Belonging) school, I thought, “let me read this and see if there’s anything I don’t already know!”

Invisible Women: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men, by Caroline Criado Perez

So much. There were so much! So much that I don’t already know. Some were shocking, like in the medical field, how women have been taking medication that were mostly trialled with only or mostly men and how much medication has not been developed based on women’s needs. Or, how the data has long shown that women have worse outcome recovering from heart surgery, but only recently researchers found that it’s because women jump right back into their carer roles after the surgery, while men are more likely to have someone looking after them. And single women tend to recover better from bypass surgery than married women, and you can guess why! Et cetera. Et cetera.

This is nothing against men, and you don’t have to be a female or a feminist to read this book. But it opens my eyes on how the world operates with the men as default and how this is affecting us women in every possible way…